Withdrawal Symptoms

Right I haven't seen a film in about a week and a half now and I am starting to get the shakes and the end may not be in sight as the whole cinema room construction is going a lot slower than planned, mostly due to my shitty painting ability. The local cinema hasn't been getting any of the films that I want to see this month either so this isn't helping, bloody distribution company politics stopping them getting what I want pisses me off, but that's a rant for another time.

Answer to lasts weeks five pound question was "Revenge Of the Nerds", unfortunately nobody won, however I did find out that a remake is being made this year. Don't get me started on remakes, there is about 500 coming out this year and half are based on classic films, there remaking Suspiria for fucks sake. If your going to do a remake recycle a good idea you fucked up last time, like Howard The Duck or something.

Anyway to fill in for the lack of reviews I thought I would give you Neon Magazines (R.I.P.) 100 films you should see before you die. As they said themselves some are classics, some are poor and some are down right awful but you haven't lived till you have seen them all. So in reverse order

100. Citizen Kane
99. Up In Smoke
98. Blue Velvet
97. American Gigolo
96. The Trip
95. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
94. This Is Spinal Tap
93. Beyond The Valley of the Dolls
92. Natural Born Killers
91. Repulsion
90. The Producers
89. The Haunting (original)
88. Freaks (1932)
87. Bonnie & Clyde
86. The Odd Couple
85. The Killer
84. Deliverance
83. Les Yeux Sans Visage
82. The Thomas Crown Affair (original)
81. Sweet Smell of Success
80. Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story
79. Barbarella
78. The Last Boy Scout
77. Seconds
76. Pee Wee's Big Adventure
75. Shaft
74. The Parallax View
73. La Grand Bouffe
72. Kiss Me Deadly
71. The Great Escape
70. Get Carter
69. Brazil
68. Harold and Maude
67. Usual Suspects
66. Dawn of the Dead (original)
65. Slap Shot
64. McCabe and Mrs Miller
63. Kelly's Heroes
62. True Romance
61. Live and Let Die
60. Enter The Dragon
59. Evil Dead II
58. My Favourite Year
57. Cross of Iron
56. Dr Strangelove
55. Do The Right Thing
54. Hustle
53. The President's Analyst
52. Scarface
51. Saturday Night Fever
50. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
49. T2
48. School for Scoundrels
47. Chungking Express
46. Crumb
45. Towering Inferno
44. Manhunter
43. Das Boot
42. Halloween
41. Sleeper
40. Italian Job
39. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
38. Long Good Friday
37. La Cabina
36. Deep Throat
35. Menace II Society
34. The Jerk
33. Akira
32. The Right Stuff
31. Dirty Harry
30. A Clockwork Orange
29. Seven
28. Gimme Shelter
27. To Live and Die in LA
26. Man Bites Dog
25. Don't Look Now
24. Withnail and I
23. Blade Runner
22. A Bout De Souffle
21. Godfather II
20. Police Story
19. King of New York
18. Trainspotting
17. Schindler's List
16. Aliens
15. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
14. Long Goodbye
13. Blood Simple
12. Caddyshack
11. Star Wars
10. Videodrome
9. Dark Star
8. Apocalypse Now
7. Good, Bad, and the Ugly
6. Exorcist
5. Peeping Tom
4. Planet of the Apes
3. Naked
2, Goodfellas.
1. JAWS.

All the ones in bold are the ones I have seen, I have some of the ones I am missing on my rental list or on my sky plus box waiting to be watched, however any one who can help getting a hold of the complete version of Deep Throat (I've only seen the more famous scenes ;-) ) or the real hard one to get a hold of SuperStar: The Karen Carpenter story let me know. The latter is banned everywhere due to not licensing the music, which has always been denied as the carpenter estate has never seen the funny side of the film, such as all the parts being played by ken and barbie style dolls. Hopefully by next week I will have seen something new and if your lucky I may post a few pics of my room.

EDIT 05/04/06

Naked and Dark Star now seen

Lessons learned

Here are some interesting life lessons I learned from watching movies this week

1. Drugs and wominising make you a bad person, but if you make good music and are famous we will forgive you and say ohh what a lovely man he was

2. Hi are you fat? You are, I bet deep down inside your a nice person, you must be all fat people are. Guess what, disappear for ten years and get thin and all those fit girls you went to school with will want to fuck you as will other model types you meet, also you won't get stretch marks or loose skin or anything

3. All girls in sorority houses are hot and hang out all naked in each others room

But what films taught me these lessons I hear you ask, well these ones

Ray

Lesson 1 was learned here and I also learned that I must stop watching these types of films as they usually bore me silly. Nothing new here then. Thumbs in the middle

Just Friends

Lesson 2 learned here. This was a real surprise as I wasn't expecting much. The story is stupid and all over the place but there are several laugh out loud moments in it and Anna Faris is hilarious in a role that is supposed to be a slight exaggeration of Britney spears. Thumbs Up

The Dukes of Hazzard

Lesson 3 learned here. Where do I begin, this was advertised as a comedy, well you didn't see me laughing. Tired and rehashed jokes with some random Jessica Simpson in skimpy clothes scenes thrown in. Worst of all, this continues Hollywoods growing trend of releasing unseen, too hot for the cinema titles. All the studios wonder why they don't make any money, its easy everything is watered down to PG-13(12a) shit that appeals to no-one, but hey the teen market will be able to go see it so we will make millions, then they piss people off by releasing the real version on DVD saying SEE THE VERSION THAT WAS TOO GRAPHIC FOR CINEMAS and all they do is through in two fucks and a couple of silly tarts flashing there tits. Back in the day I would go out of my way to sneak in to shit films cause I heard there was a flash of tit or some hair pie in it (fiver to anyone who gets the hair pie reference) maybe kids today will do the same. Thumbs down

Playing catch-up

I may have to increase the frequencies of my posts as I get back to my normal watching speed after christmas, here goes with this weeks list.

The Assassination Of Richard Nixon

Based on the true story of a guy who fed up with his failed attempts to live the american dream decides to hijack a plane to kill Richard Nixon. Sean Penn is fantastic in it but apart from that I found it quite dull. Thumbs in the middle

The Maltese Falcon

I love all these 30's and 40's film noir's but am really bad at getting round to watching them, so this was my first time seeing this. They really don't make them like this anymore which is a pity, I like how they don't spoonfeed you the details so you are never quite sure who is the bad guy and who is not plus I thought Peter Lorre was hilarious as Joel Cairo, whether this was the intention or not I don't know but it increased my enjoyment. Thumbs up

Cube

I really liked this the first time a saw it at a Midnight screening at the cameo cinema in Edinburgh. It is not as good as I remember, probably not helped by the fact you can drink in the screens at the cinema so most of the midnight screenings involved us having a few before we went and drinking some more when we got there, this is not always advised as a friend struggled with the rigorous training at the start of Full Metal Jacket and puked his guts up as another friend slept beside him oblivious of the stench. Back on track, the super low budget shows through a bit more on rewatch but the various deaths still are pretty cool unlike most of the acting but I would still recommend it, as well as the directors superior follow-up Cypher. Thumbs Up

Melinda And Melinda

Two theatre directors one of comedies and one of drama's discuss which is best which leads to the two different tellings of Melinda’s story, one as a comedy one as a drama. I enjoyed the comedy half but didn't like the drama side so found the overall film a bit dull, Will Ferrel is good in it though. Thumbs in the middle

The Descent

British spelunking horror, heard good things about this so was worried it would be crap as most british films that get buzz are usually just average but look fantastic against most of the crap produced. However this was excellent but I don't think I will watch it again, it just makes you feel too uncomfortable when you watch it, be it the claustrophobia of the caves or the bones sticking out of legs gore I just had a sick feeling the whole way through. This however is a good thing, there just aren't enough movies these days that produce a physical reaction as they have been toned down to appeal to the mass markets resulting in them losing any uniqueness that may have made them good. Thumbs Up

Alfie

Michael Caine version, I just couldn't get into it to enjoy it, I wasn't sure whether we were supposed to like Alfie or not and frankly the story was a bit dull. Alfie sleeps with a women then they want commitment so he gets scared and moves on to the next then repeat again. Thumbs in the Middle

New DVD's

Last batch for a while as all the money this month is going into the home cinema I am building in the new house

White Stripes Under Blackpool Lights - Saw them twice last year and they are one of the best live acts in the world today and the couple of minutes of this I have watched seems to capture it well.

Myth - Jackie Chans latest Hong Kong film getting mixed reviews, however it was cheap and I needed something the make up my order to get free shipping, did get a free mouse mat with it though

Sympathy For Lady Vengeance - The final part of Chan Wook Park's revenge trilogy, which contains Sympathy for Mr Vengeance and OldBoy, both are fantastic and some of the best films of the last few years and reports of this have been good so I am really looking forward to this.

Ones to watch in 06

Here is a quick list of the films that have release dates so far for 06 that I am most looking forward to

January
Brokeback Mountain - Ang Lee's new Film
Match Point - new Woody Allen
Jarhead - Sam Mendes's new film about the Gulf war
Underworld: Evolution - I am a sucker for vampire flicks
Shopgirl - Steve Martins latest
Munich - Spielberg latest been getting rave reviews
The New World - new Terence Malik

February
Walk the Line - Johnny Cash biopic
Aeon Flux - supposedly crappy but I like the cartoons
Goodnight and Good Luck - George Clooneys second directors effort
Sympathy for Lady vengeance - Chan Wook Parks latest, just got my Korean 2-disc of this the other day and will watch as soon as I have my projector set back up

March
Syriana - Getting great reviews from the states, in my backwards logic I am avoiding finding out what its about as I prefer to see things blind rather than build an opinion before hand
V for Vendetta - I struggled to enjoy the graphic novel but word so far on the film has been great
Tenacious D movie - if its half as funny as their DVD it will be the best comedy of the year

April
Hostel - Eli Roths follow up to Cabin Fever which I thought was shit, however people who share this opinion say this is the exact opposite, the poster artwork I have seen is fantastic, severed heads and all

May
Mission Impossible III - directed this time by Alias and Lost creator JJ Abrahms, the teaser trailer looks excellent
The Da Vinci Code - enjoyed the book and the teaser trailer appears to have captured the mood well not sure about hanks though
The Ringer - Johnny Knoxville pretends to be disabled to rig the special Olympics
X-men 3 - could go either way, production has been full of problems and the release has been very rushed

June
Nothing

July
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - Johnny Deep pretending to be Keith Richards, great
Superman Returns - current teaser is a bit under whelming, but Bryan Singer usually never fails to deliver
Cars - Pixars latest

August
Miami Vice - Should be cheesy brilliance
Nacho Libre - Jack Black plays a Mexican Luchadore(wrestler) should be hilarious
Sin City 2 - Three more stories from Frank Millers mind
Lady in the Water - M Night Shyamalan new film

September
Ghost Rider - comic book adaptation starring Nic Cage
High, Wide and Handsome - Nascar car comedy starring Will Ferrel and Sacha Baron cohen, may be renamed to Talladega Nights

October
Jackass 2 - didn't even know they were making this

November
Casino Royale - new bond

December
Deja Vu - new Tony Scot starring Denzel, this combo hasn't made a bad film yet

WTF's
apparently their has been such a demand that we will get the following this year
Big Mommas House 2
Final Destination 3
Basic Instinct 2 - I thought we saw everything last time, surely it can only be older and wrinklier
Scary Movie 4
Garfield 2
Santa Clause 3

List seems a bit short so I am sure I am missing stuff and there will hopefully be a few surprises over the year, I just wish there where more newer ideas appearing and fewer sequels

Best Films of 2005 (Part 1)

Here are my fifteen favorite films from this year that I have seen so far, there are another potential 30 or so that may make the final list when I get round to seeing them. So in no order only alphabetical

1. A Very Long Engagement
2. Batman Begins
3. Brotherhood
4. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
5. History of Violence
6. King Kong
7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
8. Ong Bak
9. Sideways
10. Sin City
11. Star Wars Episode 3
12. Team America: World Police
13. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
14. Wallace And Gromit in the curse of the Were Rabbit
15. Wedding Crashers

My only disappointment with the list is that there are not many surprise entries for me. 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10 , 11, 12, 13, 14 are all from directors who's work I love so I expect good work from them. Asia always kicks up a few films I love hence 3 and 8. 15 was a bit of a surprise but the actors involved have been putting out funny comedy's for about 5 years now. The only surprise was Kiss Kiss Bang Bang which Warners buried for some reason, so probably passed most of you bye but I expect it to be a huge hit on DVD, I recommend you see it as soon as possible.

Still Alive..

I took a risk and waited a week before making it 667 for the decade, the lack of any good films on TV over Christmas didn't help. The lack of good films on TV at all is becoming a huge problem as we are creating a generation of film fans that will think that the American Pie Trilogy is the height of film brilliance. When I was a kid growing up my film education came from three places, BBC1's Friday night Hammer Horror double bills, channel 4's Kung Fu and Godzilla seasons and the granddaddy of all TV movie shows BBC2's Moviedrome. If it wasn't for these I wouldn't know about Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Bruce Lee, the 'good' Jackie Chan, Cronenberg, Romero and many more. There is nothing like this on terrestrial TV anymore and the world is worse off because of it.

Enough ranting onto the reviews

Mean Creek

Film number 667, the story has been done a million times but I still enjoyed it. Avoid the trailer as it gives the story of the first 75 minutes of the film away and as the film is only 85 minutes long, so it doesn't leave any surprises. Worth a rent. Thumbs up

End of the Century - The Story of the Ramones

I like the ramones but knew very little about their history so this was a very interesting documentary, with interesting titbits about members alledgedly turning tricks to feed there heroin habit and the fact that despite being a huge influence on hundreds of bands and being successful elsewhere in the world they never really broke America which is a shame. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Hard Target - Holy Shit a semi decent Van Damme flick, very chessy but John Woo's action is good and the disc was cheap

Before Sunset - Sequel to Before Sunrise, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke talk bullshit for another 90 minutes, brilliant

John Hughes boxset- Contains Weird Science, Sixteen candles and the breakfast club, 80's brilliance plus you get to see Emilio Estevez pretending to be stoned

TimeCode - Shot in real time the screen is split into four separate sections telling different stories that slowly intertwine the sound being brought up and down on the segment we should watch, sounds messed up but works really well

New CD's

Metallica - S&M - Metallica and the San Francisco philharmonic orchestra perform Metallica hits, beautiful genius

Jose Gonzalez - Veneer - Really beautiful acoustic folk album, contains the song from the Sony bravio ad which is my favorite ad at the minute, check it out

The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Tepid Peppermint Wonderland - only had a chance to listen through once, some really strange stuff and some really good stuff on it, I think I'll grow to love it

Arcade Fire - Funeral - Whoever kept these guys quiet needs to step forward now so I can slap you, just a fantastic album that I would have got into sooner if the only people raving about it had not have been the ones that raved about bands that turned out to be shit