Hey Brett Ratner...

Fuck you, fuck you up your stupid fucking arse you fucking hack, you have completely Schumacher'ed up the x-men franchise you no talent piece of crap, I don't think you could even direct traffic.

If you haven't guessed I am just back from X-Men: The Last Stand and it was beyond shit, I am talking Terminator 3 bad. When I have calmed down I'll maybe explain why, in the mean time you are taking you life into your own hands if you try to defend this as being anything close to good.

Must update quicker

Need to start updating this thing quicker as all the shit I watch is starting to blend together and I can't help you, the loyal reader, to avoid the really bad stuff, plus then I can't be arsed to write much about each film. So things will be short this week

Hide and Seek

Can the DeNiro who isn't in it for the money please come back and stop doing shit like this. Thumbs Down

Match Point

Hailed as a return to form for Woody Allen by American critics, hailed as the biggest piece of shit he has done in a while by me. Thumbs Down

I trust You to Kill Me

Documentary following Kiefer Sutherland as he manages Rocco Deluca and the Burden on a Tour of Europe. Pretty good, the highlight being Keifer attacking a Christmas Tree. Thumbs Up

Thumbsucker

Not much to say other than I liked this, even with Keanu Reeves playing a hippy dentist. Thumbs Up

Cecil B. Demented

John Water's anti-hollywood film about rebel film makers who kidnap one of the biggest stars in the world and force her to make a movie. Not as depraved as Waters usually gets so it was a bit disapointing. Thumbs in the Middle

The Da Vinci Code

Got a call to sit in on the test run of the print last Thursday so I had the pleasure of being able to slag this out load without annoying anyone as I was the only one there. I think the worst aspect of the film is that it thinks it has some important message to tell. Thumbs Down

American Pie present Band Camp

Beyond shit, Thumbs Down

The 40 Year Old Virgin

The story really gets in the way of this being funny at times, the bits with the main male characters together is genius at times though. Thumbs Up

Repo Man

I had forgotten how weird this was at times, Emilo Estevez plays a repoman chasing after a car with dead aliens in the boot, Harry Dean Stanton's great in this as well. Thumbs Up

Phone booth

I just get a kick out of watching Colin Farrel getting tortured for an hour cause I think he is a prick. Thumbs Up

Razorback

Australian Giant Boar flick with plenty of hill billys, do I need to say more. Thumbs Up

The Woodsman

Kevin Bacon plays a pedo who is just out of prison and is trying to go straight but ends up living across the street from a grade school. Creepy and thought provoking. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Extras Series one - And then all her clothes fall off and its too late I have seen it all - Genius

Closer - Natalie portman as a stripper, oh yes

New CD's

The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldiers - Taken a few listens but really starting to like this

Eagles Of Death Metal - Death By Sexy - On the first few listens pretty disappointing and not a patch on there first album

F**king Motorbikes

It's North West 200 day up here in Portrush, over the years I have grown to hate this day for a couple of reasons, it always falls on or around my birthday and it brings a bunch of assholes to the town. The papers reckon 150,000 people will show up, which wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that about 3 are here to see the bikes and the rest are here to get pissed and the place will be a war zone by 10:00 tonight. Its also a lovely day today and I can barely spend any time outside as it gets spoiled with the roar of the bikes and the fucking useless commentators yapping over the loud speakers.

Across 110th Street

Some black guys up in Harlem decide to rip off the mob, so the mob goes "Across 110th Street" to fuck them up. Found it all a bit dull though. Thumbs in The Middle

Mysterious Skin

Story of two boys whose lives are fucked up by being molested by there baseball coach when they were kids, being a non main stream Hollywood flick this of course means showing the actions in a realistic and disturbing manner which freaked me out a bit. Thumbs in the Middle

Overnight

Documentary about Troy Duffy a guy who got discovered in a bar and got a million dollar contract thrown at him to make his movie "The Boondock Saints" but whose ego gets so out of control that he almost loses it all and it takes years to get the film finally made for a fraction of the original contract. Films OK, but I would recommend The Boondock Saints which I like a lot. Thumbs in the Middle

Broken Flowers

Jim Jarmusch's latest, I have always struggled to get into his films as there is a tendency for nothing to happen, but I really like this one mainly due to Bill Murray who can't put a foot wrong at the moment if he isn't doing the film just for the money(read the garfield flicks). Bill gets a letter saying he fathered a kid and that kid was on the way to see him, so he goes on a road trip to see his old girlfriends to see if he can work out which one had the kid, we never find out but the ride is fun along the way. Thumbs Up

The Stickup

Reasonably clever wee thriller, was one of those late night BBC films that no one has heard of, to explain it would give away the twists but it does a good job of playing on your preconceptions of what characters in these types of films are usually like. Thumbs Up

Kinsey

Story of Alfred Kinsey who shocked America by letting them all know that almost everyone masturbated and that a good percentage of there man had had or had thought about Homosexual encounters through a sex study he carried out. Some good acting but I found it dull overall. Thumbs in the Middle

Mission: Impossible 3

JJ Abrams makes his big screen directorial debut and basically makes an Alias for the big screen, which is a good thing. I really like this, almost no story and wall to wall action, gadgets and disguises. Anything that gets Maggie Q on screen as well is always good. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Casino S.E. - I have the old non-anamorphic version so decided to finally upgrade now this version can be picked up cheap, this gets a bad rep for being a Goodfella's rehash but I fell its almost as good

Meet The Parents - As good as the sequel is bad

Lemony Snickets - Good kids flick that has Jim Carrey being funny without me wanting to smack him in the face

New CD'S

Rilo Kiley - The Execution of All Things - More Jenny!

Frank Sinatra - Platinum Collection - Amazon 97p bargain

Death Cab For Cutie - Plans - The postal service is the side project of the singer of this band, some really good tunes here and I'll probably pick up their other stuff over the next few weeks if I can find it cheap

Pearl Jam - Ten - thought it was about time to get a proper copy of this, so many classics on it and my gig tickets arrived this week, just 3 months to wait now

Brendan Benson - Lapalco
Brendan Benson - One Mississippi - Lapalco is good and I only got One Mississippi this morning so haven't listened

The Zutons - Tired Of Hanging around - Only listened to the first few tracks so far and so far so good, really like Valerie

Tool - 10,000 Days - Decided to finally start getting some Tool albums, haven't listened to it yet but the packaging is great, contains some stereoscopic lenses for looking at the artwork in 3D

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium - Got the limited edition box that some fools paid forty odd pound for, got mine when amazon mis-priced it at £15. The 1st disc is slowly growing on me but the 2nd disc has been great from the first listen as it appears to be more flea influenced and sounds more like their earlier albums which I prefer

Long Time No See

Been awhile, been going through a music phase so haven't been watching too many films so the to watch pile is back over a hundred again :-(

The Brothers Grimm

Like all Terry Gilliam films it is beautiful but the story is a complete mess so it became a boring nonsensical mess very quickly. Thumbs in the Middle

Capote

Another best film nominee that was nowhere close to being the best film of last year. Philip Seymour Hoffamn is fantastic in it though, but he's great in everything. Thumbs Up

White Noise

Michael Keaton gets messages through his TV from his dead wife, apparently this a pretty well known phenomena and the people it happens to don't get treated like nut jobs. Film is cack though. Thumbs in the Middle

Finding Nemo

Slowly moving through the Pixar collection with my nephew, this the most overrated of there films as its usually said to be the best after the Toy Stories, but its just Hollywood speak for it's the one that made the most money. It is still great though. Thumbs Up

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

The first one was mildly amusing and when I worked at the cinema when this was on there would be howls of laughter coming out of the screen, mostly from middle aged single Bridget Jones type but laughs none the less, I have now come to the conclusion that a local stand-up comedian showed up each night and did a show while the film was running as I didn't laugh once at the film. Thumbs Down

Lord Of War

Film about the gun running business, that I can't remember too much about as I lost interest about half way through. Thumbs in the Middle

The Producers

This is the one based on the play that was based on the original, they could have put some effort into the sets and other things as this looks like someone sneaked into the theatre and made a pirate copy of the play, it all looks a bit cardboard. Thumbs in the Middle

New DVD's

Equilibrium - Overall its not great but there are enough good moments to warrant the £3 asking price

Black Mama, White Mama - Women in Prison Flick with Pam Grier, going to start a wee Pam Grier collection

New CD's

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat - Saw her up in Belfast a few weeks back and she was fantastic

Rilo Kiley - More Adventurous
Rilo Kiley - Take Off and Landings - Jenny's other band

The Postal Service - Give Up - Jenny does back-up vocals on a few tracks, you see where I am heading here its like a six degrees of Kevin bacon with music thing

Johnathan Rice - Trouble is real - Supported Jenny in Belfast and plays Guitar in her band, she does vocals on one of the tracks, that is it I'll stop now, though I do have one more Rilo Kiley CD in the post.

Led Zeppelin - Presence - Finishes off my Led Zep collection, all I need now are the live albums

Bredan Benson - The Alternative To Love - He is hooking up with Jack White for his Raconteurs side project so I thought I'd check out some of his stuff, needless to say after listening to this I ordered his other albums

Pearl Jam - Pearl Jam - New album and its great, got my tickets for the Point in August last week so I am getting really exited now, they where great on Jools Holland last night as well, did I mention that Jenny was on Jools as well, OK I'll stop now.