Dead Silence

Dead Shit. There you go you have waited all this time for an insightful and in depth review from me an this is all you get, it is however completely accurate. It also pays tribute to one of my favourite reviews from a friend’s day for the film “hope Floats” his response “Shit floats more like”. Thumbs Down.

Jesus Camp

If Jesus was alive today he would kill Harry Potter, or so says a bible thumping wacko in this documentary about a religious summer camp for kids. The aim of the camp appears to be to brainwash kids so that they can go out and fight those God damed Muslims that are spawning suicide bombers every day or so the propaganda these folks spawning goes. Anyway, as interesting and awesome as the mullets every kid here sports. Thumbs Up.

Catch and Release

Had no interest in seeing this as it looked like your run of the mill shit romantic comedy, but had been reading the recently released Kevin Smith diary which runs over the time he was acting in this and he made it sound interesting and different, the lying fucker, its you run of the mill shit romantic comedy unless it gets quirky and good in the last 45 minutes that I didn’t watch. Thumbs Down

We Own the Night

I really liked the 70’s vibe this had but I never fully got drawn into the story enough to care about what was going on. Thumbs in the Middle.

Mr Brooks

Best thing Costner has done in a while completely spoiled by an out of place sequence that neither fits in with the rest of the film nor makes any sense. Thumbs in the Middle.

The Hills Have Eyes II

Gave up after 40 minutes, why are all the good guys in modern horror arrogant pricks that you want to see die horrible deaths and after the first couple do you just loose interest as there is nothing left to enjoy as you have already seen some dickheads die. Thumbs Down

Black Widow

Neither offensive nor interesting from the little I can remember now, a not so bald Terry O’Quinn with a lethal looking moustache rally badly putting the moves on Debra Winger is about all I remember. Thumbs in the Middle.

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

Bored by the first one so of course I have to watch the sequel, apparently you can clear someone of conspiracy to murder by finding a City of Gold, hopefully that nugget of info comes in handy for you some time, oh and can the pre 2000 Nic Cage come back please, you know the one with the not so shit hair and the ability to choose interesting movies, I blame Con Air for the change. Thumbs in the Middle

Mr Untouchable

Documentary about one time cocaine baron of New York, Nicky Barnes. Follows his rise to fame where he was nearly untouchable to the police, to his fall from grace before snitching out his entire gang cause the guy that took over the business stole his woman. Thumbs Up

Perfect Stranger

Can’t even remember too much about this now, apart from some nonsensical twist at the end. Thumbs in the Middle

Sunshine

Rips off 2001, alien and a bunch of other popular space movies but I still liked it quite a bit if you ignore the last 20 minutes or so where I thought it went a bit shit. Thumbs Up

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Two hours of the true story of a guy blinking a lot doesn’t sound to interesting but this is quite a fascinating, uplifting story. Only annoyance was the bloody sub-titles, the main character communicated by somebody going through the letters of the alphabet and then blinking when the letter he wanted was said but of course he is spelling French words but the subtitles would translate the letters to the letters of the English equivalent word, sounds petty but it wound me up. Thumbs Up

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Only cinema visit of the year so far, I left this about a month so I had heard all the whingeing and bitching by the fan boys. While there are several moments that make you go what the fuck where they thinking, all the idiot fucking fan boys need to remember that the original three had similar moments, maybe not raiders, which are just as dumb. The rest of the film feels like an Indian Jones movie and is a tonne of fun if you sit back and enjoy it for what it is, which all these fan boys have lost the ability to do. Thumbs Up

The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys

By the numbers indie coming of age Story only with a bunch of actors I really like, so made how average it was even more disappointing. Thumbs in the Middle

Inglorious Bastards

Italian made, American starring WW2 man on a mission film that is the inspiration for Tarantino’s next flick, it’s a tonne of fun and these men on a mission movie’s are one of my soft spots where no matter how cheesy they get there still brilliant. Two Thumbs Up

Tell No One

Decent enough French Thriller, whose conclusion made logical sense instead of the random twists that Hollywood throws out without properly explaining. Thumbs in the Middle

The Savages

Another run of the mill U.S. indie, acting as usual is great but the story as been covered so may times before in these type of films.

Youth Without Youth

Supposed to be Coppola returning to form and finally doing a personal film again, I just found it dull, now its out of his system maybe we will get 70’s Coppola back and we can start to see some great movies again. Thumbs Down

The Nines

Good idea poorly executed, Ryan Reynolds is a god like being that uses earth as a world of warcraft type game and like WOW folk gets addicted to it to the point that he is going to die so other god types try to wake him to the dilemma. Thumbs in the Middle

Balls Of Fury

Now my second favourite Ping Pong film after Ping Pong, main problem was that they would always go one joke further than they had to, the joke being out of character for whoever was doing it, breaking the realistic illusion of a ping pong contest to the death. Thumbs in the Middle

Be Kind Rewind

The sweded takes on films is brilliant the rest is average for Michel Gondry but is still nice heart warming stuff. Thumbs Up

The City Of Violence

Poor Korean actioner, the country was producing two or three stunning movies a year a few years back but it all seems to have dried up and I have to wait till next year for Chan wook Parks next as well. Thumbs Down

Batman Begins

Getting myself in the mood for the Dark Knight, this has it’s flaws but is still brilliant, this new blu-ray edition has the Imax preview for the dark knight which should be the opening of the actual film and is stunning. Two Thumbs up.

Batman: Gotham Knight

Animatrix style cartoon action that links Batman Begins to the Dark Knight, it’s a bit hit and miss were I found that I either like the style of the animation but didn’t like the story or liked the story but did not like the animation style. Thumbs Up

In the Shadow of the Moon

Stunning documentary about the moon landings with interviews with almost all the astronauts minus Neil Armstrong, the NASA footage is stunning and is worth watching this for alone but is added to by the stories of complete lack of knowing if anything would actually work. Two Thumbs Up

Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium

A quirky Kid’s film, Natile Portman and Jason Bateman, I should have loved this but something was just off in this and I am not sure what. Thumbs in the Middle

The Dark Is Rising

Another kid’s fantasy franchise that feels ripped of from other existing franchises, not sure whether the main character is American in the books or that is at the studio’s doing so that American audiences can relate better but it put me off at the start and just made things go down hill from there, so got the fast forward treatment about an hour in. Thumbs Down

Half Nelson

Good acting but shitty story the characters appeared to have a story circle instead of a story arc so they ended up in the crap circumstances that they began in. Thumbs in the Middle

The Wicker Man

Back to Nic Cage again, this is horriblly bad to the point that you think that is the intention, I watched it till the little girl got hit by a truck on a boat about the fifth time then gave up, just watch the original. Thumbs Down

The Replacement Killers

Was crap when I first saw it and hasn’t improved with age. Thumbs Down

Saw IV

Probably my favourite of the series outside the original, but comes no where near to that one and the twist on the time lines in the film at the end still has me slightly confused, probably what you get for watching a horror first thing in the morning when your hung over. Thumbs in the Middle

Eyes Without a Face

Old French horror about a doctor who kidnaps women to steal there faces to give to his daughter. Some of the imagery is stunning and has been ripped off multiple times in the years since, but I don’t really hold it up as the classic they many others do, but again this is what can happen to the films that initially invent certain idea’s or looks. Thumbs Up

Dan in Real Life

There is quite a bit to like here but once about every ten scenes that is a scene so horribly bad and out of place that it was annoying me. Thumbs in the Middle

Chicken Little

Crap, all I have to say on that one. Thumbs Down

TMNT

Been watching this while writing this, in my days they were only hero’s because if we heard the word ninja we would all start killing each other, maybe that is finally what is wrong with society today, that the kids are allowed to call them ninja’s. Thumbs in the Middle