Das Movie Blog

I'm out of here

2009-07-11T14:09:00.002+01:00

Due to my complete inabilty to keep this thing up to date I have jumped on the twitter band wagon, so come follow me there or whatever it is you do on that thing. I have actally been updating it and everything

http://twitter.com/mrrabrown

2009-07-05T13:46:00.002+01:00

Wow an update, here's a years worth of randomness I can't even remember some of these

Two Thumbs Up
Dark City - Directors Cut
Superbad
The Dark Knight
Paradise Lost
Paradise Lost 2
The Mist
The Fall
The King Of Kong
Black Snake Moan
The Shining
In Bruges
Mad Max 2
The Breakfest Club
Zodiac
Let The Right One In
Syndoche, New York
Once
Ghostbusters
The Hangover

Thumbs Up
The Fugitive
Inside Man
Rambo
Roman
My Kid Could Paint That
Get Carter
Twins Of Evil
Mississippi Burning
Kenny
The Getaway
The Killers
Vantage Point
Gone In 60 Seconds
American Grafitti
Lethal Weapon
Tremors
Night Moves
Iron man
Speed Racer
Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull
Race with the devil
Night Watch
Donnie Brasco
The Incredible Hulk
Beetlejuise
The Girl On The Bridge
Psycho II
Hellboy II
American Movie
Persepolis
Weird Science
All the boys love Mandy Lane
Kung Fu Panda
Shine A Light
Bottle Rocket
Chungking Expess
Three days of the Condor
Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers
Stranger Than Fiction
Spider-Man 3
Sideways
Elizabethtown
Blazing Saddles
Arlington Road
The Maltease Falcon
The Public Enemy
Man On Wire
Talledaga Nights the balled of Ricky Bobby
Patriot Games
Female Agents
The times Of harvey Milk
Step Brothers
The Wackness
Charlie Bartlett
King Of California
Quantum Of Solace
Burn After Reading
Straight Time
A Complete History of My Sexual Failure
Zach and Miri Make a Porno
Insomnia
Clear And Present Danger
Schindler's List
Born on the Fourth of July
Apt Pupil
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
Terminator Salvation

Thumbs in the Middle
I'm Not There
The Counterfeiters
Resurrected
Body Heat
The Machinist
Assembly
Down in the Valley
Where the truth lies
Run Fatboy Run
Do the Right Thing
Dragon Wars
Miss Potter
Waz
Incense For the Damned
Black Xmas
Praire Home Companion
Son of Rambow
The Cell
Trust The Man
The Doors
Stop-loss
Mr Woodcock
My Blueberry Nights
The Bank Job
Recount
Redacted
Diary Of the dead
The Mean Season
Breach
Smart People
Day Watch
Untraceable
Roman Polanski - Wanted and Desired
The Walker
Reign Over Me
Galaxy Quest
Margot At the Wedding
Semi-Pro
Wedding Daze
Leatherheads
When Borat Came To Town
Jumper
The Specials
The Blob
Licence To Wed
Drillbit Taylor
Hallem Foe
The Spiderwick Chronicles
Deception
Brooklyn Rules
The Shape Of Things
Psycho III
Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden
Year of the dog
Joe Strummer: the future is unwritten
Lars and the real girl
Doomsday
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Gangs of new york
Nashville
Venus
Wall.E
Breakfast On Pluto
[REC]
Rescue Dawn
The Forbidden Kingdom
The Brothers Solomon
U.S. Marshalls
Death Rides a Horse
The Hired Hand
Interview with the Vampire
Black Mama White Mama
Citizen Kane
Star Wars Clone Wars
Wanted
Pineapple Express
Definitely, Maybe
City Of Men
Cast Away
Bridge To Teribithia
Standard Operating Behaviour
Marnie
Hot Rod
Mama's Boy
Mongol
Mad Dectective
The Strangers
Love & Sex
A Might Heart
Elite Squad
Redbelt
Waitress
RocknRolla
Bee Movie
Sukiyaki western django
Gomarrah
The Foot Fist Way
Appaloosa
The Hoax
The Sum Of All Fears
Transsiberian
The Omega Man
Richard Pryor live on the sunset strip
The Other Boleyn Girl
Home Of The Brave
.45
Interview
The Oxford Murders
Chaos
Incendairy
Pride and Glory
Chapter 27
Pathology
South Central
The badder-meinhoff complex
Tropic Thunder
The Bucket List
Donkey Punch
Magnum Force
Penelope
Ghost Town
Roadgames
The Rocker
27 Dresses
Saw V
The Grey Zone
House Of 1000 Corpses
Lakeview Terrace
Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
The Reckless Moment
Awake
X-Files Movie
Midnight Cowboy
Fido
Sex and the City
Hang 'Em High
Whisper Of The Heart
Space Chimps
Milk
Butterfly on a wheel
How to lose friends and alienate people
The Hand
Taxi to the darkside
Choke
Gran torino
Baby Mama
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
W.
The Ruins
Land of the blind

Thumbs Down
Goya's Ghosts
The Battle of the Buldge
The Devil wears Prada
The Reaping
Rise
The Contract
I'm going to get you sucka
2001 Maniacs
Right At Your Door
Lucky You
Bewitched
Dance Party, USA
The Pursuit of happyness
The Messengers
Flyboys
The Serpent
Gone In Sixty Seconds
Funny Games US
P2
10,000 bc
The Happening
Good Luck Chuck
Return to the house on haunted hill
The Invasion
Deck the halls
Hancock
St. Trinians
Mummy 3
Hitman
Scoop
Streets Of Fire
Zombie Strippers!
Aliens Vs Predator Requiem
Man Of The Year
Righteous Kill
Taken
My Name is bruce
Max Payne
Cleaner
88 Minutes
The Condemed
Scorpion King 2
King Boxer
What Happens In Vegas
Shutter
The Eye
The Cottage
One Missed Call

2008-07-19T15:58:00.002+01:00

Dead Silence

Dead Shit. There you go you have waited all this time for an insightful and in depth review from me an this is all you get, it is however completely accurate. It also pays tribute to one of my favourite reviews from a friend’s day for the film “hope Floats” his response “Shit floats more like”. Thumbs Down.

Jesus Camp

If Jesus was alive today he would kill Harry Potter, or so says a bible thumping wacko in this documentary about a religious summer camp for kids. The aim of the camp appears to be to brainwash kids so that they can go out and fight those God damed Muslims that are spawning suicide bombers every day or so the propaganda these folks spawning goes. Anyway, as interesting and awesome as the mullets every kid here sports. Thumbs Up.

Catch and Release

Had no interest in seeing this as it looked like your run of the mill shit romantic comedy, but had been reading the recently released Kevin Smith diary which runs over the time he was acting in this and he made it sound interesting and different, the lying fucker, its you run of the mill shit romantic comedy unless it gets quirky and good in the last 45 minutes that I didn’t watch. Thumbs Down

We Own the Night

I really liked the 70’s vibe this had but I never fully got drawn into the story enough to care about what was going on. Thumbs in the Middle.

Mr Brooks

Best thing Costner has done in a while completely spoiled by an out of place sequence that neither fits in with the rest of the film nor makes any sense. Thumbs in the Middle.

The Hills Have Eyes II

Gave up after 40 minutes, why are all the good guys in modern horror arrogant pricks that you want to see die horrible deaths and after the first couple do you just loose interest as there is nothing left to enjoy as you have already seen some dickheads die. Thumbs Down

Black Widow

Neither offensive nor interesting from the little I can remember now, a not so bald Terry O’Quinn with a lethal looking moustache rally badly putting the moves on Debra Winger is about all I remember. Thumbs in the Middle.

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

Bored by the first one so of course I have to watch the sequel, apparently you can clear someone of conspiracy to murder by finding a City of Gold, hopefully that nugget of info comes in handy for you some time, oh and can the pre 2000 Nic Cage come back please, you know the one with the not so shit hair and the ability to choose interesting movies, I blame Con Air for the change. Thumbs in the Middle

Mr Untouchable

Documentary about one time cocaine baron of New York, Nicky Barnes. Follows his rise to fame where he was nearly untouchable to the police, to his fall from grace before snitching out his entire gang cause the guy that took over the business stole his woman. Thumbs Up

Perfect Stranger

Can’t even remember too much about this now, apart from some nonsensical twist at the end. Thumbs in the Middle

Sunshine

Rips off 2001, alien and a bunch of other popular space movies but I still liked it quite a bit if you ignore the last 20 minutes or so where I thought it went a bit shit. Thumbs Up

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Two hours of the true story of a guy blinking a lot doesn’t sound to interesting but this is quite a fascinating, uplifting story. Only annoyance was the bloody sub-titles, the main character communicated by somebody going through the letters of the alphabet and then blinking when the letter he wanted was said but of course he is spelling French words but the subtitles would translate the letters to the letters of the English equivalent word, sounds petty but it wound me up. Thumbs Up

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Only cinema visit of the year so far, I left this about a month so I had heard all the whingeing and bitching by the fan boys. While there are several moments that make you go what the fuck where they thinking, all the idiot fucking fan boys need to remember that the original three had similar moments, maybe not raiders, which are just as dumb. The rest of the film feels like an Indian Jones movie and is a tonne of fun if you sit back and enjoy it for what it is, which all these fan boys have lost the ability to do. Thumbs Up

The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys

By the numbers indie coming of age Story only with a bunch of actors I really like, so made how average it was even more disappointing. Thumbs in the Middle

Inglorious Bastards

Italian made, American starring WW2 man on a mission film that is the inspiration for Tarantino’s next flick, it’s a tonne of fun and these men on a mission movie’s are one of my soft spots where no matter how cheesy they get there still brilliant. Two Thumbs Up

Tell No One

Decent enough French Thriller, whose conclusion made logical sense instead of the random twists that Hollywood throws out without properly explaining. Thumbs in the Middle

The Savages

Another run of the mill U.S. indie, acting as usual is great but the story as been covered so may times before in these type of films.

Youth Without Youth

Supposed to be Coppola returning to form and finally doing a personal film again, I just found it dull, now its out of his system maybe we will get 70’s Coppola back and we can start to see some great movies again. Thumbs Down

The Nines

Good idea poorly executed, Ryan Reynolds is a god like being that uses earth as a world of warcraft type game and like WOW folk gets addicted to it to the point that he is going to die so other god types try to wake him to the dilemma. Thumbs in the Middle

Balls Of Fury

Now my second favourite Ping Pong film after Ping Pong, main problem was that they would always go one joke further than they had to, the joke being out of character for whoever was doing it, breaking the realistic illusion of a ping pong contest to the death. Thumbs in the Middle

Be Kind Rewind

The sweded takes on films is brilliant the rest is average for Michel Gondry but is still nice heart warming stuff. Thumbs Up

The City Of Violence

Poor Korean actioner, the country was producing two or three stunning movies a year a few years back but it all seems to have dried up and I have to wait till next year for Chan wook Parks next as well. Thumbs Down

Batman Begins

Getting myself in the mood for the Dark Knight, this has it’s flaws but is still brilliant, this new blu-ray edition has the Imax preview for the dark knight which should be the opening of the actual film and is stunning. Two Thumbs up.

Batman: Gotham Knight

Animatrix style cartoon action that links Batman Begins to the Dark Knight, it’s a bit hit and miss were I found that I either like the style of the animation but didn’t like the story or liked the story but did not like the animation style. Thumbs Up

In the Shadow of the Moon

Stunning documentary about the moon landings with interviews with almost all the astronauts minus Neil Armstrong, the NASA footage is stunning and is worth watching this for alone but is added to by the stories of complete lack of knowing if anything would actually work. Two Thumbs Up

Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium

A quirky Kid’s film, Natile Portman and Jason Bateman, I should have loved this but something was just off in this and I am not sure what. Thumbs in the Middle

The Dark Is Rising

Another kid’s fantasy franchise that feels ripped of from other existing franchises, not sure whether the main character is American in the books or that is at the studio’s doing so that American audiences can relate better but it put me off at the start and just made things go down hill from there, so got the fast forward treatment about an hour in. Thumbs Down

Half Nelson

Good acting but shitty story the characters appeared to have a story circle instead of a story arc so they ended up in the crap circumstances that they began in. Thumbs in the Middle

The Wicker Man

Back to Nic Cage again, this is horriblly bad to the point that you think that is the intention, I watched it till the little girl got hit by a truck on a boat about the fifth time then gave up, just watch the original. Thumbs Down

The Replacement Killers

Was crap when I first saw it and hasn’t improved with age. Thumbs Down

Saw IV

Probably my favourite of the series outside the original, but comes no where near to that one and the twist on the time lines in the film at the end still has me slightly confused, probably what you get for watching a horror first thing in the morning when your hung over. Thumbs in the Middle

Eyes Without a Face

Old French horror about a doctor who kidnaps women to steal there faces to give to his daughter. Some of the imagery is stunning and has been ripped off multiple times in the years since, but I don’t really hold it up as the classic they many others do, but again this is what can happen to the films that initially invent certain idea’s or looks. Thumbs Up

Dan in Real Life

There is quite a bit to like here but once about every ten scenes that is a scene so horribly bad and out of place that it was annoying me. Thumbs in the Middle

Chicken Little

Crap, all I have to say on that one. Thumbs Down

TMNT

Been watching this while writing this, in my days they were only hero’s because if we heard the word ninja we would all start killing each other, maybe that is finally what is wrong with society today, that the kids are allowed to call them ninja’s. Thumbs in the Middle

2008 so far

2008-06-04T21:34:00.002+01:00

More neat piles of randon films

Two Arms Up

There Will Be Blood
No Country For Old Men

The most depressing thing is that nothing else this year will even come close to how brilliant these two films are

Two Thumbs Up

Touch Of Evil
Superbad
Pan's Labryinth
Once
The Darjeeling Limited
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
The Orphanage
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Juno
Control
Enchanted
Bonnie and Clyde

Thumbs Up

Point Break
1408
800 Bullets
Seraphim Falls
Shut Up & Sing
3:10 to Yuma
Sicko
American Gangster
Cloverfield
Eastern Promises
Rodger Doger
Eagle vs Shark
Beowulf
Hard Candy
Into the Wild
The Golden Compass
The Good German
Rocket Science
The Lookout
The Name of the Rose
The Crazies
The Cooler
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Cabin Fever
Lust Caution

Thumbs In The Middle

2 Days in Paris
The Sci-Fi Boys
Revenge
Hairspray
Husbands and Wives
The Pink Panther
Edmond
Shoot 'Em Up
Jimmy and Judy
Snake Eyes
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
The Song Remains the Same
A Guide to Recognising Your Saints
Superman: Doomsday
Dancing at the Blue Iguana
Gas, Food Lodging
Death Sentence
Hannah and Her Sisters
Infamous
Tombstone
Big Night
Disturbia
The Bridge
The Big Kakuna
The Kingdom
Bobby
The Tailor of Panama
SherryBaby
Michael Clayton
The Number 23
Fade to Black
Notes On a Scandal
Atonement
Cat People
Across the Universe
Stardust
The Brave One
Music And Lyrics
Paris Je T'aime
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Magicians
The No1 Ladies Detective Agency
Black Sheep
Rendition
Premonition
Made
Last King Of Scotland
School for Scoundrals
30 Days of Night
Volver
I Am Legend
The Heartbreak Kid
An Inconvenient Truth
Halloween
Slaughterhouse-Five
Running with Scissors
Idiocracy
Bug
Charlie Wilson's War
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Before the Devil Knows Your Dead
Mother Of Tears
Jackass 2.5
Hatchet
Lions For Lambs
Catch A Fire
Breaking and Entering
Because I said so
Arthur and the Invisibles

Thumbs Down

The Return
Night at the Museum
Let's Go Prison
The Covenant
Hollowman II
Wrong Turn 2: Dead End
Captivity
Rush Hour 3
The Marine
Accepted
The Crow: Wicked Prayer
The Breed
Southland Tales
Pulse
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
I Want Candy
Outlaw
Texas Rangers
War
The 11th Hour
Committed
Beneath

The rest of 2007

2008-06-02T12:45:00.002+01:00

Time to get back on course so here is the rest of 2007 in 4 nice piles.

Two Thumbs Up

Ratatouille
Death Proof
Zodiac
Planet Terror
Sin City: Extended Versions
This is England
The Wild Bunch
The Bourne Identity
The Bourne Supremecy
The Bourne Ultimatum
Nightmare On Elm Street

Thumbs Up

Double Dare
Renaissance
Knocked Up
Coffy
Death hunt
Vanishing Point
Pretty Persuasion
The Big Heat
Crazy Mary Dirty Larry
Hoodwinked!
Gimme Shelter
12 Angry Men
If...
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Blow
Sixteen Candles
The Chumscrubber
The Devil's Rejects
Rope
Rear Window
28 Days Later
28 Weeks Later
Wild At Heart
Black Book
Cars
Die Hard 4.0
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Black Snake Moan
Exiled
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Casino Royale
Hellboy
The Lives Of Others
Hearts Of Darkness
Monster House
Django

Thumbs in the Middle

Blood Diamond
Inland Empire
Flushed Away
Z Channel
Real Genius
The Good Son
The Zodiac
Spider-man 3
For Your Consideration
Crimes of Passion
One Night at Mc Cools
The Naked Kiss
Happy Endings
Riding Giants
Cross Of Iron
Django the bastard
Freaks
Vacancy
Hostel Part II
Click
Hardware
The Sentinel
The Woods
Pirates of the Caribbean: Sead Man's Ches t
California Split
Midnight Movies: From the Margin to the Mainstream
Veronica Guerin
Hannibal Rising
The Quiet
White Noise 2: The Light
All the King's men
Shrek the Third
Ocean's Thirteen
PTU
The Simpsons Movie
Black Christmas
Friends with Money
Deep Red
The Wind that Shakes the Barley
Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
Open Range

Thumbs Down

ATL
Harsh Times
Man Of the House
Next
Severance
Straightheads
The Newton Boys
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Begining
4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
The Hitcher
Behind Enemy Lines II: Axis of Evil
Open Season
The Ant Bully
Transformers
The Holiday

Random

2008-01-24T22:13:00.000Z

Here's some random stuff I wrote a 6 months ago when I had high hopes of keeping this thing up to date.

The Omen

The remake, the shitty remake. Thumbs Down

A Home at the end of the world

I remember little of this now, it was a couple of months ago (when I first wrote it, it’s now more like 6 and I remember less). Colin Farrel is gay or might not be and falls in love with a lesbian and has bad haircuts and opens a bakery. Thumbs down

The Boston Strangler

First of a few true life serial killers in this update, don't think I have ever seen Tony Curtis any better as the possibly schizophrenic strangler. Thumbs Up

10 Rillington Place

British serial killer this time from the same director as the Boston strangler, Richard Attenborugh is creepy as fuck as the man who kills helpless women and buries them in there house. Thumbs Up

Shooter

An attempt at an 80's action throwback with cheesy dialogue and over the top explosions, but at the end of the day I saw all that shit back in the eighties, at least have an 80's sensibility with a compelling story line. Thumbs in the middle.

The Hunted

Tried a few times to like this so watched it again one night where I couldn't sleep and it was on the tele, at worst it would help me get to sleep. However I quite enjoyed it this time. Benicio del Toro's fucked up marine goes on a killing spree and gets chased by a grizzly looking Tommy Lee Jones. Thumbs Up

Edison

Justin Timberland tries to act, but I guess the producers knew he couldn't so surround him with a bunch of great actors to try and make him look good. It doesn't work and makes everyone else look bad. Thumbs Down

A Scanner Darkly

First time for animation in HD and it's lovely, this was the one area where I though HD wouldn't have a big affect but the colours are more vibrant and the picture just looks more 3d.

Fast Food Nation

Fiction film based on the non fiction book about how crappy (quite literally) the fast food business and the food they produce is, I found it a bit dull and meandering apart from the Bruce Willis cameo. Thumbs in the Middle

Twisted Nerve

You know a film has potential when it starts with a disclaimer that it is not the films intention to portray all Mongoloid’s as violent pschyo killers. the theme tune is used to great effect in Kill Bill and was the main reason for hunting this down, was likely controversial in its day but there are more sick and twisted things available today. Thumbs in the Middle

Romanzo Criminale

Italian attempt at Goodfella's and despite getting the big up from the men's mag's and newspapers, is actually quite good if a touch over long. Thumbs Up

Vampire Circus

Hammer Horror, about guess what, vampires that run a circus, sounds a lot more fucked up than it turned out to be. thumbs in the Middle

The Queen

Diana died, the Queen didn't really like her so couldn't give a fuck, the end. Just saved you from having to sit through this. Thumbs Down

Reeker

Crappy horror in both execution and story, a decaying reeking corpse goes on a kill spree, except it's only a fucking dream. thumbs down

The Slumber Party Massacre

Cheestastic 80's slasher film that's every bit as brilliant as the title suggests. Thumbs Up

Flags Of Our Fathers

Paul haggis please die, your dragging Clint down to shitty levels with your sentimental hammer fist style. You showed up in Entourage recently (when I wrote this so 5 months ago-ish) and almost fucked up that show with you crappy acting which I suggest you stick to as it's better than your shitty writing. And no the fact you have Oscars does not make me wrong, Driving Miss Daisy, case closed. Thumbs in the Middle.

Stay tuned.. you may never know when I'll update again

Updatathon Part 4 AKA the end of the updatathon

2007-08-13T19:51:00.000+01:00

That's right folks this brings us completely up to date, so expect me to go missing for a month or so again. Here comes the end of it then

The Frighteners

The birth of WETA and Peter Jackson’s first big budgeted effort, tonnes of fun and is a nice balance of his old low budget horror comedies and his more recent huge budget efforts. Thumbs Up

Four Rooms

What happens when fame goes to your head, you and your friends make an incoherent mess like this, on their own Tarantino and Rodriguez’s sections are good, Ander's and Rockwell's are horrible. Thumbs in the Middle

The Man

Somebody has pictures of Samuel L. Jackson blowing a horse or something or he takes drugs before he chooses the films he wants to do as the amount of shite he does is unbelievable. Thumbs Down

An American Haunting

BORING, if I was haunted like this I really wouldn't be too bothered. Thumbs Down

King Kong

Still brilliant and oh so beautiful in HD

The Illusionist

The other magician film form last year, Jessica Biel's in this so you know it's going to at least be watchable on one level, as it is I slightly prefer the prestige but this is still excellent. Particularly the shooting style which makes the film look almost like the photographs of the era the film is set in. Thumbs Up

The Science Of Sleep

Weird combination of dream state and real life that will fuck with your head in the really good way. Two thumbs Up

Boy's Don't Cry

Hillybilly's get slightly upset when their sisters new boyfriend turns out to be girl, by slightly upset I mean beats the fuck out and kills. Thumbs Up

Assault On precinct 13

I love the carpenter film and had been against this, but as with the Dawn Of the Dead remake it's a lot of fun and if they had just named it slightly different I might have liked it that bit more. Thumbs Up

Freedomland

More Samuel L. Jackson Shite, Thumbs Down

The Good Shepard

How can the history of the birth of the C.I.A. be so dull. Thumbs in the Middle

Two Lane Blacktop

One of the beach boys and some guy from another band I can't remember race cross country without really racing, nothing much happens but I enjoyed it anyway for it's quirkiness. Thumbs Up

The Weather Man

Trailer I saw for this made it look like some osrt of guy goes crazy and start running round the place with a bow and arrow, in reality it was an above average family drama. Thumbs Up

Children Of Men

Still brilliant and oh so beautiful in HD

Ghost Rider

I wish my eyes would burn like Ghost rider's victims so that I can forget how awful this was. Thumbs Down

Lone Wolf McQuade

Chuck Norris and David Carridine, you now this is going to be cheesy greatness, highlight is Chuck running straight at a guy firing a machine gun when he only has a hand grenade, skilfully side stepping the bullets before blowing the guy up. Thumbs in the middle

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

The best of the prequels and on a completely different topic the only film I have ever saw projected digitally in a cinema. Thumbs Up

The Secret Of Nimh

Kids films need to be more like this nowadays, loads of fucked up dark imaginary that will give them nightmares for weeks, that’s what I had growing up and it did me no harm right, right?. Thumbs Up

Little children

The return from prison of a local paedophile shakes up a local neighbourhood, then cuts his dick off, its more complex than that but that’s the gist. Thumbs in the Middle

The Benchwarmers

My brain has forced me to forget this, thank you brain, I love you. Thumbs Down

The Prestige

Still brilliant and oh so beautiful in HD

Five easy pieces

Apparently ground breaking for its time but I found it pretty dull. Thumbs in the Middle

Raising Cain

One of Brian DePalma interesting failures, while not great overall it has his usual fantastic set pieces and a great mental performance from John Lithgow. Thumbs Up

300

See grown men fight in there pants, the style is initially jarring but when you get used to it the film becomes highly entertaining. Thumbs Up

Altered

Blair witch director's resurface, with some shite about alien abductees taking revenge. thumbs Down

Tsotsi

South African film that I started to hit fast forward on when it turned from gangster pic to babysitter movie. Thumbs in the Middle

Angel - A

Luc Besson finally resurfaces as a director, the black and white photography of Paris is gorgeous. The film is a throw back to Luc's earlier French films and is a bit hit and miss from scene to scene. Thumbs in the Middle

Thank you for smoking

Smokings bad MMMkay. Unless your job is to tell us there not. I found it thinking its too clever for me to find it funny. Thumbs in the Middle

When a stranger calls

Why when people receive prank phone calls etc. do they a). feel the need to stay on the line instead of hanging up b). when the calls are continuous feel the need to answer the phone every bloody time. This is basically that for 90 minutes. Thumbs Down

Blades Of Glory

Will Ferrell ice skating comedy, bit more hit and miss than Talladega nights but enough laughs to get the Thumbs Up

Big Nothing

Simon Pegg pretends to be American and rather badly at that, Starts out well but gets completely nonsensical about 30 minutes in. Thumbs in the Middle

Stay Alive

Kids play computer game, die in computer game then die the same way in real life. Just as horribly bad as it sounds. Thumbs Down

DreamGirls

Fine for the first hour when its a story with musical numbers and Eddie Murphy is channelling 1980's Eddie Murphy, but goes all weird in the second half when it turns into a musical and they all start singing to each other between songs. Thumbs in the Middle

Hot Fuzz

Still brilliant and oh so beautiful in HD, spotted a bunch of jokes I missed last time from laughing too much

Letters From Iwo Jima

Second part of Clint Eastwoods Iwo Jima double, this time from the Japanese point of view, shock horror the Japanese where not pure evil but regular folks just like us, when it wasn't forcing this point it was a pretty cool war flick, I am still to see Flags Of our Father which is the US side of things so it will be interesting to see how they intertwine. Thumbs Up

Still to come, a list of the shite I bought since my last update and maybe the best of 2006 version 2

Updatathon Part 3 AKA the worlds slowest updatathon

2007-08-04T14:55:00.000+01:00

And there is still more to come after this, so here we go

The Matrix Reloaded

Up it's own arse but I love the action sequences. Thumbs Up

Domino

So Lazy, find the previous review

Les Diaboliques

Great 1950's french missing dead body thriller, one of the one I had heard about for ages and actually liked when I finally saw it. Thumbs Up

The Sin Eater

Dull, Dull, Dull Thumbs Down

The Outfit

Semi follow up to Point Blank, its from the same series of books, can't really remember much about it. Thumbs in the middle

Paycheck

Weak Woo, but mindless fun non the less, now that he has gone back to china hopefully he can regain some of the old magic. Thumbs Up

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

The first one I ever saw and the main reason I never give the rest of the series a proper chance, it's not as bad as I remember but its still not good compared to the other entries. Thumbs in the Middle

A Better Tomorrow

Some of the old magic I mentioned above, woo's first masterpiece, made Chow yun Fat and two handed gunplay cool, despite the bad 80's jumpers chow wears throughout the film. Two Thumbs Up

The Matrix Revolutions

Still up its own arse but I still enjoy the action. Thumbs Up

Manic

Kid with issues goes to mental hospital, fucks about awhile then grows to love the place. Thumbs in the Middle

Devil in a blue dress

Been meaning to watch this for years and wish I had done it earlier, great noir thriller starring Denzel. Hollywood for some reason only visits this genre about once every five years now which is disappointing as the films they finally produce are usually excellent, e.g. L.A. Confidential. Two Thumbs Up

The Dark

Should be hidden in the dark never to be seen again, garbage. thumbs down

Tell Me Something

Korean Serial killer movie so you know fucked things will be included, though having been made in 1999 its a bit more restrained and slower paced then recent Korean output but great none the less. Thumbs Up

Deja Vu

Good idea sort of badly executed here, the bad execution being that most of the science made no sense, cool explosions though. thumbs Up

The Fountain

No idea what was going on or what it ultimately was all about, but I really liked it anyway

UnderWorld Evolution

Might have reviewed this here before and gave it a bad rep, found it far more entertaining this time though. Thumbs Up

Black Ceasa r

Blaxploitation version of little ceasar, as with most blaxploitation flicks it's averageness is hidden by a great soundtrack and pimp ass costumes. Thumbs in the Middle

Rambo: First Blood Part II

Written by Mr Titanic himself James Cameron, this ditches story line for blowing shit up, which is never a bad thing, worth watching for the guy getting killed by the exploding arrow alone, that bad boy got rewound about a billion times when I was a kid. Thumbs Up

In the heat of the night

The only problem with the decline of racism is you can't fill your films full of dumb ass red necks who think a man is stupid just cause he is black, then act more retarded when the so called idiot completely out smarts them in the most simplest way possible. Anyway Sydney Poitier is awesome in this. Especially when he bitch slaps the rich white man for giving him some lip. Thumbs Up

Rocky Balboa

Cheese factor 90, it brilliance could only be improved by a scene of Apollo Creed's ghost training Rocky. Thumbs Up

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Pure genius from Will Ferrel again, haven't laughed so hard at a film in ages. Thumbs Up

The Long Riders

Western starring the Keach's the Carridine's the Quaid's and the Guest brothers. All that needs to be said really, awesome actors being awesome. Thumbs UP

Dumplings

This the extended version of one of the mini Stories in Three..Extremes which results in it being less creepy due to the added story which reduces the impact of an abortionist who uses the dead foetus's to make dumplings that can reverse the aging process. Thumbs in the middle

Confetti

British attempt at the Christopher Guest style improvised Mockumentary, it's very hit and miss and has the misfortune of letting you see all of Mitchell or Webb's bits I never remember which ones which, it not the ugly one of the two so its not quite as horrific as it could have been. Thumbs in the Middle

Ice Harvest

John Cusack and Billy Bob Thorton, should be good right, nope garbage. Thumbs Down

Sugarland Express

Speilberg's first proper studio movie (Dual was a TV movie) you can see the start of his style and the themes of family etc. that have become his trademarks over the years. Thumbs in the Middle

Bound For Glory

Biopic of Woody Guthrie, beautifully shot but suffered a bit too much of needing prior knowledge of Guthrie life which I don't know much of. Thumbs in the Middle

Jarhead

The old review is out there somewhere, watched in georgeilious HD this time though.

Rambo 3

Damn Ruskies this time, and as with most three's the weakest of the series. Thumbs in the Middle

Slaughter's big rip off

cheesy Blaxploitation. Thumbs in the Middle

Hammer

cheesy Blaxploitation. Thumbs in the Middle

To be continued...

Updatathon Part 2

2007-07-04T19:35:00.000+01:00

Getting there, as there is still more to come

Equilibrium

Suffered from all the Matrix comparisons that it got at the time but this is good wee look at are inevitable bleak loveless future. Thumbs Up

Stranger Than Fiction

Guy hears a voice over in his head only to eventually discover he is a character in somebody’s book, crazy and beautiful. Two Thumbs Up

HollywoodLand

Biopic of the original Superman George Reeves following the investigation in to his suicide/murder not as interesting as I hoped. Thumbs in the Middle

Basic Instinct 2

Seen it all before ;-) Thumbs in the Middle

The Monster Squad

Ahh childhood memories crushed by the reality of something you loved as a kid not being great, but only good in an 80's cheesy kind of way. Thumbs Up

The Proposition

Aussie western with good violence but slow predictable story. Thumbs in the Middle

Perfume: The Story of a murderer

Weird and interesting serial killer film about a boy who wants to distill the smells of objects including people. Thumbs Up

Serenity

See the earlier review if you can find it, watched in lovely HD this time, me loves me some HD

You, Me And Dupree

Great when Owen Wilson is left to be Owen Wilson, crap when they try to convey a meaningful life lesson that we should all follow. Thumbs In The Middle

The Matrix

It's great but not the fantastic original movie most people who don't watch Asian cinema claim it to be. Two Thumbs Up

I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK

Revenge Film expert Chan Wook Park turn's his hand to romantic comedies of a sort, mad as a bag of hammers and all the better for it. Thumbs Up

Man On Fire

Not the great Tony Scott version but the shit original he was supposed to direct back in the day. Thumbs Down

United 93

Probably the best film I'll never watch again, it's almost sickening how unprepared the American's were for this. Two thumbs Up

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and her Lover

Stunning beautiful but terribly dull. Thumbs In The Middle

First Blood

It’s over Johnny, Nothings over. Awesome overacting. Two Thumbs Up

Southern Comfort

Brilliant "Vietnam" film set in the Louisiana swamps with the local hillbilly's taking out the local army reserve one by one. Thumbs Up

Stay Tuned...

Updatathon Part 1 AKA shutting Mr Struthers Up

2007-06-30T11:43:00.000+01:00

Suppose its about time that I updated this thing and as its been a while this could take a while and looking at this list I can barely remember watching some of these. Word keeps crashing and I am watching films quicker than I can be bothered to write them up so this will be done in several parts here’s part 1

Fun With Dick And Jane

False advertising as no fun was had here, I’ll most likely torture myself and watch the Jane Fonda original at some point. Thumbs Down

Smokin' Aces

I love Joe Carnahan’s debut flick Narc which is a throw back to 70’s cop film, so I was looking forward to this even if it looked like an American attempt at a Guy Richie film which is what it turned out to be, all style over a slight bit of substance, so I enjoyed it, just didn’t love it Thumbs Up

Mad Max

TCM was showing the trilogy so time to re-evaluate as I could never get into the films before when I was a kid I saw 3 first and hated it and I must have carried that into the first ones because I loved this now. I didn’t like westerns growing up and I think that had an influence cause these play out like modern westerns. Thumbs Up

Romance and Cigarettes

I hate good musicals but I love shitty musicals so this ruled, see Tony Soprano try to sing and dance. Thumbs Up

Payback: Straight Up Directors Cut

Good improvement over the crappy kid kidnapping end in the theatrical version and further proof that test audiences should stop being used as it appears that they are always full of retards. Thumbs Up

Mad Max 2

Same as part one used to hate it now I love it. Thumbs Up

Date Movie

Just how bad could this be, bad enough that I switched it off after two jokes, at least I think they were meant to be jokes. Ten Thumbs Down

Alien Autopsy

I hate Ant and Dec but liked this even though I didn’t laugh and I think it’s meant to be a comedy. Thumbs Up

Dead Man's Shoes

Another one of those where you need to be in the mood for it, thought it was alright the first time I saw it now I think it’s great. Two Thumbs Up

The Beyond

Couldn’t get into the first hour though the gore was good but when the zombies show up Fuck yeah Thumbs in the Middle

Klute

Bring back the 70’s where films where like this, major stars playing unlike-able but interesting characters in seedy interesting story lines. Thumbs Up

DOA:Dead Or Alive

Chciks run about in bikini’s or nothing and fight for an hour and half, mildly entertaining. Thumbs in the Middle

Beerfest

Broken Lizard start to make a comeback after the shitty Club Dread but still fall way short of their Super Troopers heights. Thumbs in the Middle

Rumour Has It

Can’t remember a thing about it so that will tell you how good it was. Thumbs Down

Final Destination 3

Cool deaths shit story. Thumbs In The Middle

Thursday

Weird and quirky and most likely shit but I liked it. Thumbs Up

Stay Tuned....

As Before

2007-04-12T20:01:00.000+01:00

Just the facts mam

Dave Chapelle's Block Party

Thumbs Up

A Better Way To Die

Written, directed and starring Scott Wiper, only good for wiping his arse, pity as he got a pretty decent group of character actors together and them wasted them in shitty action, next up for Scott Vinnie Jones and Stone Cold Steve Austin in the Condemned, I know it will be shit but I know that I will see it. Thumbs Down

The Thin Man

Thumbs Down

In Her Shoes

I want L.A confidential Curtis Hanson back now please. Thumbs In The Middle

Children Of Men

Absolutely stunning. Two Thumbs Up

Little Miss Sunshine

Worth watching for the little girls dance routine at the beauty pagent at the end alone, funny and creepy at the same time. Two Thumbs Up

Two For The Money

Pacino, stop doing shit please. Thumbs In The Middle

Roll Bounce

Roller Disco baby, and hour of crap saved by half an hour of dance routines at the end, me loves me some dance routines. Thumbs In The Middle

The Fury

Weak DePalma. Thumbs In The Middle

Performance

Mick Jagger does drugs for an hour and a half. Thumbs Down

Battle Royale 2: Requiem

Tried to watch this again cause I love the original, gave up before the end again. Thumbs Down

Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada

Good modern day western, done in the old western style i.e. too slow for the youngsters today. Thumbs Up

Payback

With the directors cut coming out I thought I would check out the theatrical version, which was drastically reworked by Mel Gibson, the new stuff he added is the weak point of the film which I other wised liked so really interested in seeing the D.C. Thumbs Up

The Business

Crappy british gangster flick that tries to hard to be like the good british gangster flicks. Thumbs In The Middle

Hotel Rawanda

Thumbs In The Middle

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song

Groundbreaking blaxploitation film, groundbreakingly boring that is. Thumbs Down

The Devil's Rejects

Put off watching this for ages as the first part House of a 1000 corpses was so bad but kept hearing good things about this and wish I hadn't waited now, awesome 70's style horror. Thumbs Up

Babel

Not as great as I was hoping but another solid film from Alejandro González Iñárritu. Thumbs Up

Casino Royale

Suffers from bad pacing with all the action packed into the first hour then slows down with the poker game on the end, but a great return for bond none the less Thumbs Up

Wal-mart: The High Cost Of Low Price

Walmart are greedy money grabbers OK, some of there tactics are disgusting though. Thumbs in the Middle

The U.S. Vs. John Lennon

Follows the story that Nixon was so scared of John Lennon's influence that he had the F.B.I. follow him for years. Thumbs in the Middle

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Is it right to say you loved seeing a fat, hairy naked man put his balls into another naked mans face. Thumbs Up

Jackass Number Two

Starts off a bit slow with the early skits not being too funny but I was hurting from laughing by the end. Thumbs Up

The Ipcress File

Michael Caine tries to do bond and almost succeeds. Thumbs in the Middle

Happy Feet

Almost oscar ranted on this, best animated feature my ass, but the message is so beautiful they say, fuck that, what message, be nice to penguins but only if those mother fuckers can tap dance, if the can't feel free to eat them and wear there skins as coats. Thumbs Down

Hellboy: Sword Of Storms

First in a series of animated features to tied over to the sequel, crazy as fuck. Thumbs Up

The Fog

Why? just watch the John Carpenter original, only fun to watch Tom Welling try to act. Thumbs Down

The Majestic

Weak Darabont, needs to stick to the Stephen King adaptations which thankfully he is doing again Thumbs In The Middle

The Prestige

Great battling magicians flick from Christopher Nolan who apparently can do no wrong, so that's me jinxed the Batman sequel Thumbs Up

Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny

Just good when it could have been great, may have enjoyed more had I not listened to the album which is more or less the film without the pictures. Thumbs Up

Zathura: A Space Adventure

Sequel to Jumanji and slightly better than that, no mugging robin Williams probably helps. Thumbs in the middle

Half Light

Crappy Demi Moore Thriller. Thumbs Down

Bullitt

Love the Car chase even if that Green Beetle some how manages to re-overtake the mustang multiple times. Thumbs Up

Office Space

Thumbs Up

Lost Highway

As I start to understand it a little more each time I see it the enjoyment goes up. Thumbs Up

Lady In The Water

M Night with more M Shite, please do something good again please, you should have learnt from Robert Rodriguez with Shark Boy and Lucas with Jar Jar that just because you are talented with good ideas does not mean that your kids are the same. Thumbs Down

New HD DVD's

Babel
A Scanner Darkly
Children Of Men

New DVD's

Twin Peaks S2 - finally after a four year wait I have the final season of the best TV show ever, now I might be able to work out what the fuck was going on.

New CD's

Nirvana - Bleach
Neil Young - Harvest

Me So Lazy

2007-03-14T18:59:00.000Z

Ss mostly one or two word reviews unless I have something else to say

Electra Glide In Blue

Thumbs Up

Bad News Bears

Weird combination of kids style movie with adult style language. Thumbs In the Middle

John Carpenter's The Thing

One of the best films ever, Two thumbs up

Sky High

Thumbs Up

Hard Candy

Difficult watch if you like your balls, that's if you have balls. Thumbs Up

The Matador

Thumbs Up

Strange Days

Like this a little more each time I see this, Thumbs Up

Out Of Sight

The exception that proves the rule that J.Lo is shit. Two thumbs Up

The Last run

Thumbs Down

The Hard Word

Thumbs Down

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Interesting documentary about the hypocrisy of the MPAA in America that just doesn't go as in depth as it should, still interesting stuff, Thumbs Up

eXistenZ

Fucked up but good, thumbs Up

Dragons Forever

Hour of tedious comedy made good b half an hour of classic action, Thumbs Up

A Scanner Darkly

A film about drugs that makes you think you are on drugs, don't know how much worse it would be if you were. Thumbs Up

American Dreamz

Damn you Mandy Moore you are so cute and force me to watch shite like this. thumbs Down

The Man Who would be king

Sean Connery and Michael Caine overact for 2 hours, great. Thumbs Up

A Cock and Bull Story

Thumbs in the Middle

Miami Vice: Directors Cut

Not much different from the theatrical version but does make the start slightly easier to follow, Thumbs Up

Monster House

Best non-pixar computer animated film ever, Two Thumbs Up

March Of The Penguins

Penguins walk, penguins have babies, "oh my god" the dad's look after them, more penguins walk, the end. Thumbs in the Middle

Hot Fuzz

Genius, contains one of the best flying kicks to a grannies face ever put on screen. Two Thumbs Up

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

Thumbs Down

Marie Antionette

Stunningly beautiful but felt slightly empty, thumbs Up

Pan's Labyrinth

Just see it, Two Thumbs Up

New HD DVD's

Bullit - Steve McQueen classic

New DVD's

The Hudsucker Proxy - My Coen's collection is complete

New CD's

Air - Pocket Symphony - bit air by numbers but some good tunes in there

Arcade Fire - Neon Bible - If we get a better album this year it will be a good year

Metallica - Garage Days

Apocalypse Now

2007-02-17T10:21:00.000Z

"The Horror, The Horror" no patient readers the reports of my death where incorrect but almost true, the story of which will be passed down through the generations as a warning to stop the young from wanting to travel now that the grand epidemic has arrived upon the world. Now over the years several "minor" atrocities have probably been carried out in the city we like to call Berlin but none where as horrific as those that befell upon me on Saturday 3rd February 2007, a date that will go down in history, small kids will be heard saying to there parents, "tomorrows the day mommy isn't it, does that mean we can't go out?", "Yes, son its the safest solution, the grass producing monsters are out there and may drown us in the carrot, pea and grass concoction" Mr Struthers recalls the events here, but that is his comical side of the story that's purely propaganda to hide the real horror that happened.

So lets go back to that night, I had one or two beers and decided to go to bed early (To be read as I cannot remember how many I had, it was a free bar with waiter service, I find without having to walk to get the beer or actually pay for it I lose track of how many I had, it might have been a lot, plus 4:30 in the mornings early is it not). So an hour into my beautiful sleep I hear a roar similar to Godzilla when he wakes, followed by the beautiful restrains of the early stage of regurgitation. My instincts kick in and I immediately duck and cover (Read, through the covers round myself and went into the fetile position and prayed for survival). Being the supportive friend that I am I lay there pretending I didn't hear comforted by the gurgling sounds that indicated that he wasn't doing a Hendrix, I probably would have spewed if I tried to help and that would have been weird. I would go on but it's to hard on me to recall it all, but just look at this, its about an hour and half before it all happened, look at the evil look in his eye, I think it was all pre-planned

Some good has happened I finally got a HD DVD player and I loves it, the difference at first was not too noticeable until I switched back to ordinary DVD and realised how blurry it is compared to the HD discs, here's hoping my side wins though I may just back down later in the year and pick up a Blu-Ray player to get the films that are exclusive to that format, it has shitty region coding so it may result in importing a machine from the US so I can get the biggest choice of titles.

Mission Impossible 3
V For Vendetta

Re-watched in HD, you can go searching though the archive for my original thoughts and they are much the same as both stood up well to a rewatch

Clerks II

Haven't laughed at a film in so long, where else will you get a confession of love while a donkey show is going on in the background, this scene much like the rest of the film is oddly touching, good unnecessary random dance sequence as well which I always love. Two thumbs Up

Harold and Kumar go to the white castle

Why do I torture my self, only Doogie Howser playing himself was mildly amusing in this so called comedy. Thumbs Down

Superman

People have complained about the lack of action in the new film, as if the originals where action packed which is not just the case, the films have always been about the character and less about any real threat and the action. I still hate the winding back time ending which is a complete cop out and makes no sense and stops the film from being truly classic to me. Thumbs Up

Superman 2: The Richard Donner Cut

I always preferred part two as the three bad guys actually posed a threat to superman and you thought he may actually be in trouble, but I always hated the slap stick moments in the film. This has all changed, Donner's cut has little of the slapstick that was in Lester's version though it also has the windy back time ending as it was originally planned for this film before being switched to Superman 1 and Donner never got a chance to come up with a new ending. With all the changes the film feels more like a part 2 than Lesters version and it feels like a better film. Thumbs Up

Superman Returns

Having watched the first two right before this I think I enjoyed it more than had I gone in cold as there are several small moments that mirror parts from the first two that might of noticed. The whole supermans child thing brought up a question though, was superman unlucky that he got Lois pregnant the only time he slept with her or did his super semen make it an inevitability. Thumbs Up

United States Of Leland

American indie that wastes a ridiculous amount of acting talent on a rather dull story that I can't even remember now. Thumbs in the Middle

Hitch

The torture continues, shitty rom com. Thumbs Down

Art School Confidetial

Good quirky film as should be expected from Terry Zwigoff that's very similar in style to his first feature, Ghost World as it should as both are written by and based on comics by Daniel Clownes, the main character responses to the arty twats trying to express how some of the shitty paintings make them feel is priceless. Thumbs Up

The Departed

Scorsese remake of the wonderful Infernal Affairs, is fantastic but maybe not quite up to the original, though both are quite different in style. The hong kong original was memorable for its tense set pieces while I found this more memorable for the charachters and performances, the changes in the story are minor and I feel they worked well and its good in this day and age of PG-13, 12a rated watered down bullshit to see some good violence and a lot of swearing. Two Thumbs Up

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

I groaned when I first heard about this, then one or two reports said it was a lot of fun, always listen to your instincts I say, bag O shite. Thumbs Down

The Last Kiss

Had high hopes for this as it looked similar in tone to Braff's own Garden State which I really liked, but the scripts so heavy handed and pretentious, which isn't a surprise as its written by the king of subtly himself the writer of the lovely touching Crash, Paul "Racism's bad MKay" Haggis. It helped fuel my Rachel Bilson obsession so it wasn't all bad. Thumbs in the Middle

The Family Stone

Another shitty Rom Com, why is it that that they are never romantic or comedic. Thumbs Down

Clockers

A Spike Lee Joint, I always find his work hit or miss, this was somewhere in the middle leaning towards hit mostly due to the acting as the story is almost secondary to the actors. Thumbs Up

The Black Dahlia

Brian DePalma always seems to fly under the radar with the mainstream as he always is the last mentioned in his group of friends, Spielberg, Lucas, Coppala among others. But his work is almost always the most visually stunning of the whole lot. This is one of his more middle tier films in that at times it stunning but then a moment creeps in that completely jar's you. Thumbs Up

New HD DVD's

The Matador

The Departed

New DVD's

The Host

New CD's

The Shins - wincing the night away

Bloc Party- A weekend in the city

Tilly and The Wall - Wild like Children

Johnny Cash - American recordings IV

Best Of 2006 Version 1

2007-01-23T19:30:00.000Z

I think I did a version 1 last year promising a version 2 which never came for a couple of reasons
1. I forgot
2. Apart from Howl's Moving Castle I didn't really see anything worthy of the list

This year there will be a version 2 as due to losing my free cinema privileges I only saw 53 of the films released last year, thats down about 40 on my average and there are currently 69 more I want to check out. So heres a top 10 in alphabetical order from what I did see, stayed tuned to find out what stays and what gets added.

A Bittersweet life
Brick
Cars
Mission Impossible 3
Munich
Sympathy For Lady Vengeance
The Host
The Matador
V For Vendetta
Walk the Line

The Host

Korean monster movie/viral epidemic film starring the awesome Kang-ho Song. Unlike all the hollywood garbage monster movies its funny, scary, unpredictable and good without having to be bad to be good. Best seen without knowing much more than this, so check it out if you can. Thumbs Up

Friend

Another korean flick, this time following four friends over a number of years showing how the decisions they make effect there outcome in life, as two become successfull when they choose to go to college, while the other two become gangsters eventually ending up rivals. Thumbs Up

Walking Tall

Not the shitty Rock starring remake but the average Jon Don Baker original. Based on a true story which I never realised, it would have been a lot better being 30 minutes shorter as the story is too thin for the time spent on it. Thumbs in the Middle

The Cincinnati Kid

Steve McQueen poker classic, according to the imdb Sam peckinpah was originally supposed to direct which I think would have been interesting. Rather strangely he was fired for wanting to add nudity to the film, the actress to be used was future Manson family victim Sharon Tate, maybe there is a lesson there. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

24 Season 5

Stats are in

2007-01-15T18:58:00.000Z

And most things are down on last year, it was a poor year for music and film and things are not looking up too much for this year, so here we go

Total films watched: 211
DVD's bought: 61
CD's bought: 57
HD-DVD's bought: 9
DVD to watch pile: 100+ chances of this getting cleared this year pretty low but you never know.

Coming later this week, best of 2006 lists

Fearless

Supposed to be Jet Li's final martial arts pic which is a pity because all the Hollywood stuff he has been done has been shit. It's from the director of Bride of Chucky and Freddy Vs. Jason if you ignore his Hong Kong output. The pacing is a bit wonky with the majority of the fights being in the first 40 minutes with a rather dull middle section where the character tries to redeem himself. The fights are still great though. Thumbs Up

Cry Wolf

Annoying teen horror that has that oh so clever twist that you see coming 5 minutes in. Thumbs Down

Revolver

Absolutely hated this a the cinema so decided to give it another go now that its on Sky, It's not as terrible as I remember but the 20 minutes where it does the whole religious bullshit is still beyond bad and spoils the whole thing. Thumbs in the Middle

Enron: the smartest guys in the room

Documentary about the fall of Enron, it's pretty amazing some of the shit they got away with before they caught, including showing a profit in their books despite being 30 billion in debt and stopping electricity production in California to fake a shortage thereby forcing the price up while simultaneously betting on the price of electricity going up. Thumbs in the Middle

The Wild

Animated film about animals from a New York who end up in Africa, sound familiar, it's just as crap as Madagascar too. Only redeeming feature is Eddie Izzards Koala bear. Thumbs in the Middle

The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things

Interesting but tough watch about a kid taken away from his foster parents to be given back to his mother who is slightly unstable. They then proceed on a Road trip where the kid is given booze and drugs and gets lef home alone and then gets molested. Supposedly all based on a true story, which is nice. Thumbs in the Middle

New HD-DVD's

My player will come soon, if I say it often enough it will happen

Clerks 2 - haven't seen it yet so hope it's good

New CD's

Foo Fighters - Skin and Bones - got this last year but forgot to list it, live acoustic album

The Last Of Last Year

2007-01-06T12:10:00.000Z

Haven't watched anything this year so here is what I finished off with last year and over the next few days I'll stick it all into the super computer and come back a statisticathon special, it will no doubt be slightly inaccurate as I noticed I missed some films I watched in recent months (some of which will be included here) so I'll give all stats a +-2% accuracy.

For a Few Dollars More

Second film in the Man with no Name trilogy and is of course as fantastic as the rest of them. Lee Van Cleef makes his first appearance and is his usual all kinds of awesome. Two thumbs Up

Duck Soup

Marx brothers movie and the first I have seen, its nothing more than a series of stand-up pieces and sketches loosely held together by a story. It's very hit and miss but the jokes come so fast that your always entertained. Thumbs Up

Firefly and Serenity

Always heard good things about the very short lived series and with Sky showing the movie and HMV doing the series for little over a tenner I thought it was about time to check it out, now I am disappointed I didn't do it sooner. The show ended way too soon, but the film does a decent job of trying to tie up all the loose ends even though it has to change a bit of the backstory from the series in order to make it a bit more accessible for people who didn't see the series. The film also does the best job I ever seen for convincing you that most if not all of the main characters will die by the end of the film. Thumbs Up

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

The one Renee Zellwegger and Matthew McConaughey didn't want anyone to see and I wish I hadn't, bunch of high schoolers on the way to prom get lost and then leatherfaced to death. thumbs down

Nacho Libre

The director of Napolean Dynamite, Jack Black and co-written by Mike White, has to be funny right, wrong, at best it was amusing. There was too much of an over reliance of Jack black just looking funny rather than saying or doing something funny. thumbs in the Middle

Snakes On A Plane

"Im tired of these Motherfucking snakes on this Motherfucking plane" best line in cinema all year, this just fails in being great by not being consistently awful and only one person dies by snake to cock, thats just not enough. Thumbs in the Middle

Crank

This more like it, just consistently stupid and nonsensical, Jason Statham spends ninety minute trying to keep his adrenaline up by doing drugs, driving fast, having sex and shooting folks, the end. Thumbs Up

The Faculty

Robert Rodriguez's tribute to 50's conspiracy sci-fi flicks. I like this more each time I see it after being pissed the first time I saw it by its blatant rip off of the blood test scene in Carpenter's The Thing. Thumbs Up

Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams
Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over

The series loses quality as it goes on and apart from Stallone's fantastically awful performance in 3 it is mostly unwatchable if you aren't watching the 3-d version, which I was. 2 is a good Ray Harryhausen tribute though. combined Thumbs Up

The Witches

Really shows its age and the only thing good is the henson company effects. Thumbs in the Middle

Matchstick Men

Overlooked Ridley Scott con movie, with Nic Cage overacting to perfection. Second time I watched it so its has that good thing where you can watch how cleverly the con gets put together. Thumbs Up

Mullholland Drive

David Lynch's usual bizarre madness, as with most of his movies the first time you watch them you do not have a clue what the hell is going on but its so well made and the bizarreness is so great that you enjoy it regardless, now that I have read exactly whats happening it was more fun the second time round, there is still a bunch of stuff in it that I have no idea of the meaning behind it but that just means I get to work it out next time I watch. Two Thumbs Up

New HD-DVD's

Still no player, end of the month hopefully

Serenity

Nowt but reviews

2006-12-28T13:09:00.000Z

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

The first one is a bit of a guilty pleasure, this ones just shit. Thumbs Down

The Aristocrats

Documentary about a joke called the Aristocrats, its a bit up and down based on how good each comedians version of the joke is. Problem is it relies on you to be shocked by some of the filth that people spew but anyone who knows me will now I can be more depraved than most of these things so some of the more shocking versions where just dull. Thumbs in the Middle

Stay

Wish I'd left, thinks it's clever, its just shit. Thumbs Down

Warrior King

Tony Jaa's follow up to Ong Bak, story is stupid even for a kung Fu movie but the fight scenes are so fantastic it has to be seen. Thumbs Up

Secuestro Express

Or Kidnap express to translate for you, appears to be a growing problem in South America, consisting of kidnapping people for a few hours either for a small ransom or to clean out there bank accounts. Interesting enough but falls into the usual kidnapping cliches. Thumbs in the Middle

District 13

Rather than directing anything new Luc Besson has taken to writing and producing a lot of these french action films, that are light on story and high on action. they usually clock in at 90 minutes and are good fun rides that are forgotten straight away and this is much the same. This one is based round pakour or free running, basically those mental guys that run over buildings and jump from roof to roof, the scenes involving it are great. Thumbs in the Middle

Storm Breaker

James Bond for kids, everytime you got into the story though they would have a moment so stupid that it sucked right out, even Mickey Rourke couldn't help it. Thumbs in the Middle

The Myth

Jackie Chan's latest Hong Kong film, he plays an archaeologist who has flash back dreams to a former live when he was an army general. Stories pants but the action is good and who can't like a film with a horse that does Kung Fu. Thumbs in the Middle

Over the hedge

More in the current run of totally average computer animated films, I have forgotten most of now. Thumbs in the Middle

Ultraviolet

Heard this beyond terrible so of course I had to see it, the opening credits are good and thats about the only nice thing I have to say about it. It makes Starship Troopers 2 look like a masterpiece. Thumbs Down

Phenomena

More Argento as I go on my quest to see all his films, wasn't really liking this but all was redeemed in the finale where a monkey showed up with a straight razor to save our heroine and kill the bad guy, how can you hate a film where a monkey saves the day. Thumbs In the Middle

Lords Of Dogtown

I have seen the documentary Dogtown and the Z-boys which is the basis of this, its the story of the guys that revolutionised the skate boarding world by bringing moves from surfing, I prefer the documentary but this is pretty good as well. Thumbs in the Middle

Elf

Decided to watch some of the Christmas themed films in my too watch pile, if Will Ferrell isn't in this it would be average to shit, but he is so its great, I plan next year to put the star on top of our tree the same way he does as I think it will work. Still don't really like the cheesey ending though. Thumbs Up

The French Connection
French Connection II

I'll do these together, I have seen the first one before an enjoyed it more this time now that I was away from the hype, the second is almost as good but is dragged down a bit by the extended section in the middle where hackman gets hooked on heroin then comes off it cold turkey, it runs about 10 Minutes too Long. Only other problem is that 1 is a true story and 2 is made up, so the wee what happened next bit at the end of one tells you that all of 2 is bullshit. Thumbs Up

Rocketeer

As always I am a sucker for these indiana jones style films and the lovely Jennifer Connelly also helps. rockets, nazis and a bad guy with a twirly moustache how can you go wrong. Thumbs Up

Bad Santa

A lesson in paying attention while watching films, first time I watched this I was sidetracked with other things and will I liked it I didn't really love it. Now I do, some of the dialog is laugh out loud funny and theres a midget in it, Great. Thumbs Up

Bourne Supremecy

I haven't seen Casino royale yet but if it hadn't been the return to form it appears to be then the Bourne series was coming close to taking the bond crown as a spy film that does some spying. only down side in this one is the over use of hand help cameras which make some of the action scenes impossible to follow and in other scenes just makes you sea sick. Thumbs Up

Manhatten

Woody Allen's most successful film and the one he hates the most, I can see why, the jokes are slightly lacking for this era of his films but the black and white cinematography of New York is beautiful. Thumbs in the Middle

New HD-DVD's

Still no player yet

King Kong
Miami Vice
Superman
Superman 2: The Richard Donner Cut
Superman Returns

New DVD's

Soprano's Season 5
Alias Season 5
Fire Fly the complete Series

New CD's

Alice In Chains - MTV unplugged
Chris Cornell - Euphoria Morning

Super-Mega-Updatathon

2006-11-17T18:59:00.000Z

So it's been about a month, mostly cause I have been away in New York and even managed to do a few things I had never done before in the city as I have been there a bunch of times. This included my first gig in the states, saw Alice in Chains at the Nokia theatre in Times Square, really good show including them playing a 30 minute acoustic set in the middle of the show which bizarrely was the time when the crowd was most rowdiest with crowd surfing and moshing.

Running Scared

Loved 75% of this and hated the other 25% which is a pity as most of that 25%could be cut out as its mostly unnecessary, Paul Walker even manages to act a bit in this . Thumbs Up

Neil Young: Heart Of Gold

Concert movie of Neil premiering songs from his Prairie wind album
in Nashville, as a visual experience its not up to much but the music is so good it makes up for it. Thumbs Up

The Longest Yard

Adam Sandler Comedy, Still waiting to laugh. Thumbs Down

The Dirty Dozen

Telly Savalas, Jim Brown, Lee Marvin, John Cassavetes, Charles Bronson, Donald Sutherland, Ernest Borgnine, Of course it's awesome. Makes me wish Tarantino would hurry the fuck up and make inglorious bastards. Two Thumbs Up

Saw 3

Finally went to a cinema again, first time since Miami Vice, mostly due to Portrush cinema closing meaning not only do I have to pay again I would have to pay to go the Jet Centre or Movie House Coleraine as its now called and thats not going to happen. Saw it in the states where there crazy ratings system meant that a few folk that couldn't get baby sitters brought there babies along. Anyway, really like the first one and don't like the second and this is a mix, like the start and the end but found the middle section very dull. Thumbs in the Middle

Brick

Best new film this year, that I have seen. It's a Film Noir set in a High School which does the great thing of not telling you whats going on so you learn as the main character does so you can think along with him. Two thumbs Up

Slither

Great wee alien invasion flick that doesn't take itself seriously so its a lot of fun, in the tremors vein. thumbs Up

JuneBug

Semi-Decent indie flick with good performances but a disappointing story. Thumbs in the Middle

New HD-DVD's

Yep I have jumped on the HD-DVD bandwagon, prepare for the wheels to fall off and Blu-Ray to run away with the format war now. the decision came down to a few reasons, first HD-DVD is producing a better or same picture and the hardware is half the price, second current HD-DVD is region free they haven't decide on regions yet so the early player don't and never will support it whereas blu-ray is region coded and finally any films I currently want in the new format are out on HD-DVD but not Blu-ray. There are downsides, those being that Fox, Disney and of course Sony are Blu-ray exclusive at present but based on the reviews of the shitty quality so far I'm not too fussed

So I have a few discs but I don't have a player yet it arrives in January

Mission Impossible 3
The Thing
V For Vendetta
Out Of Sight

New DVD's

The Office: An American Workplace Season 1
The Office: An American Workplace Season 2
Samurai Jack Season 3
Garth Merengi's Darkplace

New CD's

Bjork - Surrounded - Dual disc versions of all the albums all remixed in 5.1
The Magic Numbers - Those the Brokes - Not as catchy as the first but some good tunes, also tickets to see them in Derry next month
Damien Rice - 9 - Growing on me but not as instant as the first album
Tenacious D - Pick of Destiny - Again not as great as their debut but still Good
Juilette And the Licks - Your speaking My Language
Juilette And the Licks - Four on the Floor - Juliette Lewis's band and its half decent, Dave grohl plays drums on the new album which has some decent rock tunes on it

Stupidity Rules

2006-10-10T19:32:00.000+01:00

I was going to do my rant on the state of current cinema but most things seem to have been covered by Mr Struthers in a comment on Young Mr McIvors blog. He gets it just about right, it’s the complete lack of new idea’s or the balls to at least try them. Anyway I was going to do the rant until the real reason behind it all reared its head, Stupidity. It seems to be that in this day and age you have to be stupid to get ahead, its like a badge of honour, here are a couple of things I learned this week from the BBC Radio1 news department, just a couple of facts about the Amish

They don’t believe in Electricity, yep doesn’t exist, I think its witchcraft that makes them light bulbs work or something.

I passed it off as an error even though it said the same on two different reports but then at a later date I was informed that they don’t believe in Modern Technology. All those cars that drive past there farms must just be horses dressed up in fancy out fits. Of course at which point did they make this decision, hey ma we just finished inventing the butter churner, there aint nothing left to create anybody tells you different, he be’s a liar.

Anyway today I found out something interesting about leap years, according to Chris Moyles’s “comedy” Dave, which is an oxymoron in upon itself, there is no fixed pattern to when leap years, as far as he was concerned the calendar people got together and decided each year whether or not it should be a leap year. The alarm bells should have wrung once I released that the whole conversation revolved round some Page 3 girl that’s been 24 for the past six years, their theory being she was born on February 29^th so only counted the years were she celebrated her birthday. Of course for the groundbreaking finale, when he was finally convinced that leap years happened every four years, was to conclude that that would make her 120 because as we all know 4 times 24 is 120. I suppose in the end he is smarter than me as he gets paid considerably more than I do, must trundle off now to write my leap year randomiser code for work before anyone notices I have it fixed to every four years.

Me and You and Everyone We Know

Enjoyable enough but I’m getting tired off all these American indies thinking that they are being edgy because they mess about with teens going through puberty ans sexual experimentation. Thumbs in the Middle

The Squid and the Whale

Produced by Wes Anderson and it has the same feel as his movies, worth it just for William Baldwins character (Alec must have been busy) who despite having 30 odd lines in the movie says little more than Brother. Thumbs Up

Millions

Transpotting Danny Boyle please come back, shitty kids film, doesn’t help that I hate James Nesbitt. Thumbs Down

Russian Ark

Gimmick is that its all one continuous shot, problem is that the story is an advert for a museum in Russia. Thumbs Down

16 Blocks

Richard Donner and Bruce Willis, bound to be good right. Wrong load of shit, how hard is it to get lost in New York and walk 16 blocks. Thumbs Down

Silent Hill

Haven’t played the game so I was lost for most of this, liked a lot of it but as a whole just didn’t work for me. Thumbs in the Middle

Tenebrae

Good gory, Dario Argento giallo, acting is cheesy as hell made up for with all the axe’s to the head. Thumbs Up

Casablanca

One of the classics that I never got round to seeing, it was alright I suppose. Thumbs in the Middle

New DVD’s

Transporter 2 – After bitching about lack of original idea’s I get a dumb sequel, but its soooo dumb its good

New CD’s

KT Tunstel – Acoustic Extravaganza – almost live album that’s a mix of old new and covers, really good.

Soundgarden – Down On The Upside

Soundgarden – Superunknown – time to get some proper copies, band I took a while to like but now really love

The Watson Twins – Southern Manners – Great eight song ep, with a we bit of Jenny thrown in

TV extravaganza

2006-09-29T18:40:00.000+01:00

Been a slow couple of weeks for film watching as I have decided it was time to dust off some of those TV boxsets sitting on the shelf and watch them, partially cause I am getting a bit pissed off at the state of the current film industry (I may rant on this soon, be warned) and partially because the new series's where starting and I wanted a quick recap, so I have been through season 2 and 3 of what was the best comedy on TV Arrested Development, series 1 of extra's the only british tv show I watch and am slightly over half way through season 2 of Lost as season 3 starts next week in the states and I will be watching via my magic teleportation machine ;-)

Flight Of the Phoenix

I don't know why I do it to myself, I had no interest in it, knew it would be shit but still had to watch. Then I am sitting there going this is shit, I should switch it off, but no, I need to know how it will finish even though it was obvious after 10 minutes and then it ends as expected and I hate myself for going through it. But I know that the next piece of shit that premiere's on Sky that I'll be doing the same again. Thumbs Down

Shopgirl

Serious Steve Martin which is better than kids movie Steve Martin but not as good as comedy 70's Steve Martin. Wants to be Lost In Translation but falls short, worth watching for the genius that is Jason Schwartzman. Thumbs Up

The Hills Have Eyes

Not really a fan of the original and this is only slightly better most in the second half where it starts to move away from the original and goes its own way, some great gore though. Thumbs in the Middle

Firewall

Shitty Harrison Ford thriller made funny if you know anything about computers, I am getting tired of films were your supposed to care for people who I think are arseholes, fuck you, I am glad your wife got kidnapped. Thumbs down

London

Good if you are obsessed with Jessica Biel like I am, bad if you like good films, I like Jason Stathem I just don't want to watch him take drugs for an hour and a half while wearing a bad wig. Thumbs Down

Forbidden Planet

Classic sci-fi, that has lost it's impact from having all its ideas nicked since, I am looking at you Star Trek. Thumbs Up

Rounders

Gave this another go after not really getting into it before and know that I know a lot more about poker and the various variations and lingo and really enjoyed it this time, though for Matt Damon's character supposedly being so good some of his play aint great. Thumbs Up

also gave Hostel another watch and liked it more this time, but it is no where near as gory as it thinks or wants to be.

New DVD's

Rounders - really wanted to see it so I bought it

Dirty Dozen - great men on a mission flick that they just don't make any more unless Tarantino gets off his arse and makes inglorious bastards

Wild At Heart - probably the most accessible of the lynch films that don't make sense at times

Wild Bunch - classic violent western

Broken Flowers - the review is back in the past there someone

New Cd's

The Datsuns - Smoke and Mirrors - couple of ropey songs to start but gets really good after that

Deep Breath and...

2006-09-09T10:25:00.000+01:00

Lets begin, yet again I didn't keep up, the list seems to just catch up on me. I will try better

Get Rich Or Die Tryin

50 cent tries to act and much like his rappin its a pile of shit. Its the usual my life is tough in the ghetto so I'll sell drugs till my rappin can get me out. Thumbs Down

The Castle

Great wee Australian comedy with Eric "the Hulk" Bana in a small part. Has loads of really silly but quotable dialog. Thumbs Up

Explorers

One of those films that isn't as good as you remembered when you were a kid still good fun but not the best thing ever I probably thought it was when I was a kid. Thumbs in the Middle

Hostel

I still haven't made my mind up on this the first half is some sort of silly sex comedy before the second half of horror kicked in. There are some really cool moments here and there that made me want to rewatch. So Thumbs in the Middle for now

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead

British revenge thriller that turned out to be more of a character study than I was hoping and became dull because of it. Thumbs in The Middle

The Polar Express

Too much style over substance, the motion controlled realistic animation was good and all but the story and characters were annoying. Thumbs Down

Dark Water

American remake of one of my favourite Jap-horrors. It suffers from not being as creepy as the original which could freak you out by showing you a puddle, this of course americanizes it and uses tonnes of water which then of course loses the effect. Thumbs in the Middle

Derailed

Annoying confidence scam film which is annoying cause its the same bloody scam they use every time so as soon as to characters meet you know exactly what is going to happen, which only leaves how stylishly they can do it. Not very is the answer, but some of the acting is good. Thumbs in the Middle

Green Street

American film about british football hooligans, which of course made it hilarious. Stanstead is heathrow, everyone talks in cockney rhyming slang and all fights consist 90% of headbutts. Thumbs Down

Toy Story

Do I need say anything, genius. Most underrated joke, the shark wearing Woody's hat going "I'm sheriff Woody, howdy howdy howdy", don't know why makes me laugh every time. Two Thumbs Up

The Card Player

Dario Argento giallo that doesn't live up to his classics but is still better then some of his more recent stuff, the killer didn't make too much sense though. Thumbs in the Middle

D.O.A.

Fifties noir about a guy that has been poisoned and attempts to find out who murdered him before he dies. Lots of double identities and all the usual noir tricks, so it's pretty good. If like an old flat mate I had you don't watch anything in black or white or made before 1975 you can watch the Dennis Quiad, Meg Ryan remake which isn't nearly as good. Thumbs Up

The Cave

Should have buried the film in a cave so no one would have too watch it. Thumbs Down

New DVD's

Simpsons Season 7 - I am still back on season 3 so should get round to this about 2010

Domino - There's a review a few months back somewhere, guilty pleasure

Elizabethtown - Again there is a review somewhere back there, really like the second half could live without the first

Arrested Development season 3 - The last 13 episodes of one of the best american comedies of recent years

Lost season 2 - best american drama of recent years

New CD's

Pearl Jam - Lost Dogs - B-sides and rarities collection, there is some good stuff on here

Pearl Jam - Live at Benaroya Hall - Live acoustic set that has some great covers in it

Pearl Jam - Live in Dublin 2006 - Official bootleg of the gig I was at, is almost as good as being there.

Ryan Adams - Gold - seeing him later in the year so thought it was a good Idea to get some of his stuff

Audioslave - Revelations - bit audioslave by the numbers but there a couple of really good tunes

Mother Love Bone - apple - Only got it yesterday so haven't listened, Stone and Jeff's band before the band that is Pearl Jam

Temple Of the Dog - Temple Of the Dog - Again only got it yesterday so haven't listened, Stone Mike and Jeff from Pearl Jam with Matt Cameron who would end up in Pearl Jam but would be in SoundGarden first with Chris Cornell who does lead vocal here but would eventually end up in Audioslave, Eddie Vedder makes a cameo on one song as well. did you get that there will be a quiz next week.

More Catch Up

2006-08-17T20:46:00.000+01:00

Note to self, must update quicker

Good Night and Good Luck

George Clooney's second film as director, pretty good true story about a TV jpurnalist taking on Senator McCarthy during his communism witch hunt, which I had heard of but never really knew the details of so it was interesting seeing the crazy reasons why people where branded commies. Thumbs Up

A History Of Violence

Cronenberg's least Cronenberg film, has some great gore but is more of a character study, must remember to read the last half of the graphic novel this based on. Two Thumbs Up

Valiant

Crappy computer animated film about pigeons in WW2 voiced by every actor in britain today. Thumbs down

Syriana

America fucks up the middle east cause they need oil, its maybe a bit more subtle than this but that's the gist. Pretty good in that it doesn't spoonfeed you the details and you need to do a bit of working out yourself. Which apparently some people couldn't do, hey Mr Struthers. Thumbs Up

The New World

Terrence Malik's new film is the most beautifully boring film I have ever seen, its gorgeous to look at but nothing happens. Thumbs in the Middle

Miami Vice

While the plot is really slow and doesn't even wrap up half the story lines, I still really enjoyed this and Michael Mann is a master of action set pieces with the dock shoot out being nearly as good as the street shoot out in Heat. thumbs Up

The Fisher King

Never been able to watch this all the way through till now and I still don't see why it is so liked. Thumbs in the Middle

The Usual Suspects

One of the best films of the 90's made slightly different as I saw it as part of Renault's drive in season, the whole drive in experience was a bit weird, it never got dark enough to see the picture clearly but the highlight was the film breaking down to be met by honking horns and flashing lights. Two Thumbs Up

Mindhunters

One of those thrillers that is good for being completely stupid but crap from being completely predictable. Thumbs in the Middle

Aeon Flux

All style and no substance but the style was good so I enjoyed it in the end, must get round to watching the cartoons I bought a while back. thumbs Up

Lucky Number Slevin

I liked this and yet didn't, feels like a shitty American attempt at a guy richie film at times and a nice change from the usual hollywood crap in the other. In the end it likes to think it is clever but anyone who has seen a lot of films will have spotted the twist coming from the second it was introduced. Thumbs in the Middle

New DVD's

None

New CD's

Jurassic 5 - Feedback - One of the few hip hop groups I can listen to as they don't rap about their hoes and their bling bling

Soundgardern - BadMotorFinger - time to start replacing my dodgy copies

Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake It's Morning - Again replacing dodgy copy

The Zutons - Who killed the Zutons - and again

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Red Hot Chili Peppers - Just Mother's Milk to go to complete the collection

Massive Attack - Blue Lines - Completes my Massive attack collection, contains the brilliant Unfinished Sympathy

Catch Up

2006-08-04T18:57:00.000+01:00

Straight to it

My Name Is Modesty: A Modesty Blaise Adventure

Some how this has adventure in the title, its a strange way to describe someone chatting in a room for an hour and a half, DULL, Thumbs Down

House Of Wax

Shitty horror with Paris Hiltons acting debut, all she does is say a couple of lines, strip and then get a shaft in the head, so no different from that other video doing the rounds on the net. Thumbs Down

A Sea Inside

Nicely acted but can't say I got emotionally involved like I was supposed to, Thumbs in the Middle

Hidden (Cache)

France thriller that got rave reviews but I can't see why, was interesting enough but the intrigue of why things where happening lead to a shitty conclusion. Thumbs in the Middle

Paparazzi

Craparazzi, you see what I did there, your in the presence of a genius people. Thumbs Down

The Amityville Horror

The recent remake, crap gave up about 20 minutes from the end, just full of all the haunted house cliche's. Thumbs Down

Underworld: Evolution

I enjoyed the first one in a style over substance kind of way, but even the style couldn't save this one. Thumbs in the Middle

The Exorcism Of Emily Rose

Supposed true story of an exorcism that took place in the states, was pretty decent for a courtroom drama type of film which I usually hate, probably due to all the freaky demon moments that kept it interesting. Thumbs Up

Wedding Crashers

I could watch Vince Vaughn ranting all day, Will Ferrell's cameo is the icing on an already funny cake, Two Thumbs Up

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

On second watch, even more brilliant than when I first saw it, just a wonderful dark funny niorish film that will actually make you like Val Kilmar. Two Thumbs up

Sin City

Again even better on second viewing, the r1 super duper edition I have has some really good extras on the making of. Will give longer feedback when I get round to watching the uncut extended versions of each story that are on the second disc. Two Thumbs Up

Glastonbury

Documentary about the so called best festival in the world that only succeeded in making me never want to go, looked to be decent fun back in the day but just appears to be full of posing twats these days. Thumbs in the Middle

Hard Target

Cheesetastic John Woo directed Van Damme flick which is all the better for having half an hour of story and an hour of action. Thumbs Up

Cars

Something lacking about it that keeps it a level below Pixar's best which still makes it light years ahead of all the other computer animated shite the other studios pump out. I really want to go tractor tipping. Thumbs Up

CD's and DVD's

None :-(

Hola!

2006-07-18T19:42:00.000+01:00

Been a while, so whats happened, a couple of holidays and a couple of car crashes, I hope there isn't a link there as I am probably going to take some more later in the year. Spent a couple of weeks in the Dominican Republic which is nice and I would recommend it before the chavy folk who seem to be creeping in wreck, it was all-inclusive so I was drunk most of the time which always helps. Other trip was for T In The Park, more later but it rained most of Saturday which helped me find out my rain proof coat isn't

Reviews will be quick as I watched some of these before I left and I want to do some T coverage

Wolf Creek

Supposedly a true story but one of those one's where you find out at the end that they made most of it up as some of the people are still missing. Still pretty good and gory. Thumbs Up

Jarhead

Weird gulf war movie nothing really happens but I still liked it I think. Thumbs Up

Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Got a migraine about an hour in which made the other hour and a half really drag, for a 2 and a half hour film there is no really story and it suffers badly from not having a beginning middle and end structure. Thumbs in The Middle

Chronicles Of Narnia

Pretty Dull, thumbs in the Middle

Azumi 2

Not as good as the first one but has some good samurai action none the less, Thumbs in the Middle

T in the Park review

Saturday

Manu Chao - I wouldn't buy his stuff but as bouncy festival music it was alright

Maximo Park - SHITE

Placebo - Alright, I am more familiar with their first couple of albums and they played more newer stuff

The Zutons - Fantastic, despite the storm they put on a fantastic set

Franz Ferdinand - Hated them before and they didn't change my mind, even the crowd only got excited for the hits

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Awesome as usual, even got a Bee Gee's cover from John. highlight, me and about 10 other people who know the pre blood sugar sex magic songs going mental for Me and My Friends

Sunday

Jenny Lewis and the Watsons Twins - brilliant again, played a new song and Handle with care which she never played on the tour

The Magic Numbers - good but the main stage didn't have the same feeling of being crammed in the X tent last year

Jose Gonzalez - Left after 4 songs as the sound where we were was crap

Feeder - Don't really like them but was really impressed with the set they did, add them to Skunk Anansie as bands I don't like on record but like live

Death Cab For Cutie - really good set and the second drum kit coming on for the dueling drums was cool

The Who - Played the hits and did the usual windmills and microphone swinging so was good fun and a great end to the weekend.

New DVD's

Christopher Guest Collection - Best in Show, A Mighty Wind and Waiting for Guffman, have not seen Guffman but the other two are genius

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Only a fiver a amazon grab it

New CD's

Johnny Cash - American Recordings V - Some good stuff but a bit too much gospel for my liking

Thom Yorke - The Eraser - Really growing on me

The Who - Who's Next - couldn't find a best of cheap with Baba O'Reilly so got the album instead, pretty good

OK..

2006-06-03T14:40:00.000+01:00

I think I have calmed down now, so much so that I don't feel like ripping into it anymore, all I have to say is that if you know any of the character back stories or care about some of the major characters then prepare to be shit upon. Cheer yourself up with thai boxing midgets, I could watch that all day.

Without A Paddle

A Poor mans Deliverance, Burt Reynolds even show's up to sully his name further. Thumbs Down

The Bird With Crystal Plumage

Dario Argento's debut feature, you can see his style starting to take shape but all the pieces are not quite in place yet. Still enjoyable and quite accessible for people wanting to get in to Giallo. Thumbs in The Middle

X-Men: The Last Stand

Read the other day that almost an hour worth of character development was cut out of this so if that ever sees the light of day I may force myself to watch this again. Thumbs Down

Darkness

Cack horror that essentially steals the good bits from other horror films but does them worse. Thumbs Down

R-Point

Korean, war-Ghost story, a troop of soldiers get sent to R-point to find missing troops only to find ghosts and other bizarre Asian stuff. Thumbs Up

Night Watch

First russian film I have seen and its pretty good, heard about it a few years back and kept find some excuse to buy the russian dvd that was available. Its a weird vampire/good vs evil flick which is apparently the first part of a trilogy, it runs out of steam and budget towards the end buts still better then most B-movies coming from the states. Looking forward to the other parts. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Phantom Of Paradise - cheesy DePalma directed Rock opera

New CD's

Pearl Jam - RearviewMirror - best of picked up for the few tracks that are only available on it

Band Of Horses - Everything All the time - Heard they sound like the Shins which they do which is good

The Elected - Sun Sun Sun - Side project of one of the Rilo Kiley crew, nothing special but some good stuff on it

Tilly and The Wall - Bottoms Of Barrels - strange and good, band doesn't have a drummer they use a Tap Dancer instead

Also got me some T In The Park tickets this morning Oh Yes :-) £130 Oh NO ;-(

Hey Brett Ratner...

2006-05-25T23:58:00.000+01:00

Fuck you, fuck you up your stupid fucking arse you fucking hack, you have completely Schumacher'ed up the x-men franchise you no talent piece of crap, I don't think you could even direct traffic.

If you haven't guessed I am just back from X-Men: The Last Stand and it was beyond shit, I am talking Terminator 3 bad. When I have calmed down I'll maybe explain why, in the mean time you are taking you life into your own hands if you try to defend this as being anything close to good.

Must update quicker

2006-05-22T19:10:00.000+01:00

Need to start updating this thing quicker as all the shit I watch is starting to blend together and I can't help you, the loyal reader, to avoid the really bad stuff, plus then I can't be arsed to write much about each film. So things will be short this week

Hide and Seek

Can the DeNiro who isn't in it for the money please come back and stop doing shit like this. Thumbs Down

Match Point

Hailed as a return to form for Woody Allen by American critics, hailed as the biggest piece of shit he has done in a while by me. Thumbs Down

I trust You to Kill Me

Documentary following Kiefer Sutherland as he manages Rocco Deluca and the Burden on a Tour of Europe. Pretty good, the highlight being Keifer attacking a Christmas Tree. Thumbs Up

Thumbsucker

Not much to say other than I liked this, even with Keanu Reeves playing a hippy dentist. Thumbs Up

Cecil B. Demented

John Water's anti-hollywood film about rebel film makers who kidnap one of the biggest stars in the world and force her to make a movie. Not as depraved as Waters usually gets so it was a bit disapointing. Thumbs in the Middle

The Da Vinci Code

Got a call to sit in on the test run of the print last Thursday so I had the pleasure of being able to slag this out load without annoying anyone as I was the only one there. I think the worst aspect of the film is that it thinks it has some important message to tell. Thumbs Down

American Pie present Band Camp

Beyond shit, Thumbs Down

The 40 Year Old Virgin

The story really gets in the way of this being funny at times, the bits with the main male characters together is genius at times though. Thumbs Up

Repo Man

I had forgotten how weird this was at times, Emilo Estevez plays a repoman chasing after a car with dead aliens in the boot, Harry Dean Stanton's great in this as well. Thumbs Up

Phone booth

I just get a kick out of watching Colin Farrel getting tortured for an hour cause I think he is a prick. Thumbs Up

Razorback

Australian Giant Boar flick with plenty of hill billys, do I need to say more. Thumbs Up

The Woodsman

Kevin Bacon plays a pedo who is just out of prison and is trying to go straight but ends up living across the street from a grade school. Creepy and thought provoking. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Extras Series one - And then all her clothes fall off and its too late I have seen it all - Genius

Closer - Natalie portman as a stripper, oh yes

New CD's

The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soldiers - Taken a few listens but really starting to like this

Eagles Of Death Metal - Death By Sexy - On the first few listens pretty disappointing and not a patch on there first album

F**king Motorbikes

2006-05-13T12:04:00.000+01:00

It's North West 200 day up here in Portrush, over the years I have grown to hate this day for a couple of reasons, it always falls on or around my birthday and it brings a bunch of assholes to the town. The papers reckon 150,000 people will show up, which wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that about 3 are here to see the bikes and the rest are here to get pissed and the place will be a war zone by 10:00 tonight. Its also a lovely day today and I can barely spend any time outside as it gets spoiled with the roar of the bikes and the fucking useless commentators yapping over the loud speakers.

Across 110th Street

Some black guys up in Harlem decide to rip off the mob, so the mob goes "Across 110th Street" to fuck them up. Found it all a bit dull though. Thumbs in The Middle

Mysterious Skin

Story of two boys whose lives are fucked up by being molested by there baseball coach when they were kids, being a non main stream Hollywood flick this of course means showing the actions in a realistic and disturbing manner which freaked me out a bit. Thumbs in the Middle

Overnight

Documentary about Troy Duffy a guy who got discovered in a bar and got a million dollar contract thrown at him to make his movie "The Boondock Saints" but whose ego gets so out of control that he almost loses it all and it takes years to get the film finally made for a fraction of the original contract. Films OK, but I would recommend The Boondock Saints which I like a lot. Thumbs in the Middle

Broken Flowers

Jim Jarmusch's latest, I have always struggled to get into his films as there is a tendency for nothing to happen, but I really like this one mainly due to Bill Murray who can't put a foot wrong at the moment if he isn't doing the film just for the money(read the garfield flicks). Bill gets a letter saying he fathered a kid and that kid was on the way to see him, so he goes on a road trip to see his old girlfriends to see if he can work out which one had the kid, we never find out but the ride is fun along the way. Thumbs Up

The Stickup

Reasonably clever wee thriller, was one of those late night BBC films that no one has heard of, to explain it would give away the twists but it does a good job of playing on your preconceptions of what characters in these types of films are usually like. Thumbs Up

Kinsey

Story of Alfred Kinsey who shocked America by letting them all know that almost everyone masturbated and that a good percentage of there man had had or had thought about Homosexual encounters through a sex study he carried out. Some good acting but I found it dull overall. Thumbs in the Middle

Mission: Impossible 3

JJ Abrams makes his big screen directorial debut and basically makes an Alias for the big screen, which is a good thing. I really like this, almost no story and wall to wall action, gadgets and disguises. Anything that gets Maggie Q on screen as well is always good. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Casino S.E. - I have the old non-anamorphic version so decided to finally upgrade now this version can be picked up cheap, this gets a bad rep for being a Goodfella's rehash but I fell its almost as good

Meet The Parents - As good as the sequel is bad

Lemony Snickets - Good kids flick that has Jim Carrey being funny without me wanting to smack him in the face

New CD'S

Rilo Kiley - The Execution of All Things - More Jenny!

Frank Sinatra - Platinum Collection - Amazon 97p bargain

Death Cab For Cutie - Plans - The postal service is the side project of the singer of this band, some really good tunes here and I'll probably pick up their other stuff over the next few weeks if I can find it cheap

Pearl Jam - Ten - thought it was about time to get a proper copy of this, so many classics on it and my gig tickets arrived this week, just 3 months to wait now

Brendan Benson - Lapalco
Brendan Benson - One Mississippi - Lapalco is good and I only got One Mississippi this morning so haven't listened

The Zutons - Tired Of Hanging around - Only listened to the first few tracks so far and so far so good, really like Valerie

Tool - 10,000 Days - Decided to finally start getting some Tool albums, haven't listened to it yet but the packaging is great, contains some stereoscopic lenses for looking at the artwork in 3D

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium - Got the limited edition box that some fools paid forty odd pound for, got mine when amazon mis-priced it at £15. The 1st disc is slowly growing on me but the 2nd disc has been great from the first listen as it appears to be more flea influenced and sounds more like their earlier albums which I prefer

Long Time No See

2006-05-06T11:33:00.000+01:00

Been awhile, been going through a music phase so haven't been watching too many films so the to watch pile is back over a hundred again :-(

The Brothers Grimm

Like all Terry Gilliam films it is beautiful but the story is a complete mess so it became a boring nonsensical mess very quickly. Thumbs in the Middle

Capote

Another best film nominee that was nowhere close to being the best film of last year. Philip Seymour Hoffamn is fantastic in it though, but he's great in everything. Thumbs Up

White Noise

Michael Keaton gets messages through his TV from his dead wife, apparently this a pretty well known phenomena and the people it happens to don't get treated like nut jobs. Film is cack though. Thumbs in the Middle

Finding Nemo

Slowly moving through the Pixar collection with my nephew, this the most overrated of there films as its usually said to be the best after the Toy Stories, but its just Hollywood speak for it's the one that made the most money. It is still great though. Thumbs Up

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

The first one was mildly amusing and when I worked at the cinema when this was on there would be howls of laughter coming out of the screen, mostly from middle aged single Bridget Jones type but laughs none the less, I have now come to the conclusion that a local stand-up comedian showed up each night and did a show while the film was running as I didn't laugh once at the film. Thumbs Down

Lord Of War

Film about the gun running business, that I can't remember too much about as I lost interest about half way through. Thumbs in the Middle

The Producers

This is the one based on the play that was based on the original, they could have put some effort into the sets and other things as this looks like someone sneaked into the theatre and made a pirate copy of the play, it all looks a bit cardboard. Thumbs in the Middle

New DVD's

Equilibrium - Overall its not great but there are enough good moments to warrant the £3 asking price

Black Mama, White Mama - Women in Prison Flick with Pam Grier, going to start a wee Pam Grier collection

New CD's

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - Rabbit Fur Coat - Saw her up in Belfast a few weeks back and she was fantastic

Rilo Kiley - More Adventurous
Rilo Kiley - Take Off and Landings - Jenny's other band

The Postal Service - Give Up - Jenny does back-up vocals on a few tracks, you see where I am heading here its like a six degrees of Kevin bacon with music thing

Johnathan Rice - Trouble is real - Supported Jenny in Belfast and plays Guitar in her band, she does vocals on one of the tracks, that is it I'll stop now, though I do have one more Rilo Kiley CD in the post.

Led Zeppelin - Presence - Finishes off my Led Zep collection, all I need now are the live albums

Bredan Benson - The Alternative To Love - He is hooking up with Jack White for his Raconteurs side project so I thought I'd check out some of his stuff, needless to say after listening to this I ordered his other albums

Pearl Jam - Pearl Jam - New album and its great, got my tickets for the Point in August last week so I am getting really exited now, they where great on Jools Holland last night as well, did I mention that Jenny was on Jools as well, OK I'll stop now.

You know its hard out here for a pimp

2006-04-18T19:34:00.001+01:00

Trying to come up with a theme this week and was going to recommend some Korean films to get everyone started but have decided to wait until I have watched a couple I have in my to watch pile. So I thought I'd go with a Hustle & Flow theme and show you all how to Bling Bling your life up or whatever the kids say these days. So why eat a Battenburg when you can eat a Battenburg Gti Turbo , yep check out Pimp my snack. My favourite is the directions to build my life long dream, the easter egg sized creme egg, I just need to find the £50 required for ingredients.

Hustle & Flow

As a Rocky rip off poor boy done good story this isn't too bad, as much as I hate most new Rap these days the songs in here are pretty good, though its slightly hard to take the geeky one from Road Trip seriously as some hardcore rap producer. Thumbs Up

Everything is Illuminated

The first hour of this is fantastic and plays a lot like a Jean Pierre Jeunet flick with its quirky humour, its takes a more serious shift in the second half which turns the style on head. Makes me want to get a premium seeing eye bitch. Thumbs Up

The Inside Man

Spike Lee's new film, its a really good Sting style heist movie. Unlike most modern day thrillers it actually kept you guessing most of the way as to how things were going to work out. Thumbs Up

Ladder 49

Fucking annoying, Fireman gets married and his wife gets scared that he will die then he does, the end. It plays like some weird recruiting video that asks you if you are brave enough to join the fire service then tells you that you will probably die a horrible death if you do. Thumbs in the Middle

Carlito's Way: Rise to Power

Above average straight to video prequel to the completely underrated Carilto's Way, even Puff Daddy is semi decent in it. There is no budget for action so it concentrates on character and Mario Van Peebles tries to wear every ridiculous Pimp outfit he can find. Thumbs Up

My Favorite Year

In the 100 to see before you die list, but I had seen it before but not for about 15 years and all I could remember was Peter O'Toole staggering around drunk and rightfully so as its the only good part of the flick. Thumbs In the Middle

Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire

Its the last of the books that I read as it pissed me off as it felt like a 600 page prequel for the next book, the film suffers the same problem in that while significant things happen they never feel like the focus of the story. The tournament should be the focus and then the twist at the end would be more shocking but there is little focus on the point of the tournament or what it means and most of the why is Harry in it story line gets dropped from the book. Saying that I still really enjoyed it and think it is the second best in the series and i am enjoying the darker turn the series is taking. Thumbs Up

The Young Poisoner's Handbook

Pretty good dark comedy about the true story of an English kid who decides he wants to become the worlds most famous poisoner. Might lead to you never taking a drink or food from someone ever again. Thumbs Up

Magic

Cracking mad ventriloquist flick starring a young Anthony Hopkins, who is almost as freaky looking as the dummy. Thumbs Up

A Bittersweet Life

Korean revenge flick, a medium level gangster makes a bad decision which pisses off his boss who decides to bury him alive, he survives and goes on a killing rampage. Stylish and depraved in parts, great. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Spy Kids 2 - rounds out my spy kids collection, I want a shot on the juggler

Bad Santa - Going for £4 on amazon Jersery then the fuckers dropped the price to £2 sneaky bastards

History Of Violence - Even commercial Cronenberg is great, would be interesting to see how depraved he could have made it if he really wanted to take the style further

The Rocketeer - cheeeeesy 30's serial style pic

New CD's

Seu Jorge - Life Aquatic Sessions - bunch of Portuguese Bowie covers recorded for the brilliant Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

2006-04-18T19:34:00.000+01:00

Censorship Craziness

2006-04-05T20:39:00.000+01:00

Was watching The Transporter 2 at the weekend and when it was over I remembered that this was advertised as an Uncut version but didn't see anything dreadful that would require cuts, so on to the IMBD for a wee investigation and true enough this was heavily edited and cut in the states to get a PG-13 rating including the digital removal of nipples. WTF the kids can watch people get the shit kicked out of them but if they see a nipple they will be out there gang raping people and doing drugs and shit. Things are just as bad over here, the BBFC has gone on some anti-hanging scene binge in relation to animated material refusing to give them even 18 ratings as there cartoons and kids will get to see them anyway and if they see the cartoons hanging themselves then there will be mass suicides as kids everywhere start hanging themselves.

V for Vendetta

Could never get into the graphic novel as I found it a bit over wordy and preachy, but really enjoyed the film for exactly the same reasons. Some of the imagery here is fantastic, though I feel slightly perverted for getting urges to lock myself into room with Natalie Portman just so I can rub her bald head. Two Thumbs Up

Heat

Really didn't like this the first time I saw it having seen it shortly after L.A. Takedown which is effectively a two hour T.V. movie of the same film and was the version I preferred at the time, both are directed by Michael Mann. Anyway watched it again and really liked it and now I love it. The Street shot out is great in 5.1. Two Thumbs Up

God Told Me To

Bunch of people go crazy in New York claiming God told them to do it, the cop investigating finds out he may have been immaculately conceived then some space ships appear and vaginal openings and things and I really didn't know what the fuck was going on. Thumbs in the Middle

Naked

Another film off my 100 films to see before I die, a guy pissed of the lack of morals in the people around him goes round London pissing people off, was funny at times but found it pointless overall. Thumbs in the Middle

Transporter 2

No digital nipple removal here, completely ridiculous and over the top and great because of it, just leave your brain at home and enjoy. Thumbs Up

The Tesseract

Interweaving stories of people in a Bangkok hotel, bored me silly. Thumbs Down

SPL

This is very average until the last 20 minutes when there is a great Donnie Yen/Jacky Wu knife fight then a good Donnie Yen/Sammo Hung fight that uses a few MMA submissions mixed in with the traditional kung fu that completely saved the flick. Thumbs Up

The Constant Gardener

Intertesting film from the director of the fabulous City Of God, deals with the nastier side of the pharmaceutical business as Ralph Fiennes tracks down why his wife was murdered for investigating the trails of new TB drugs in Africa. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Nightmare On Elm Street collection - Amazon mis-price £6.50 great

Eight Legged Freaks - underrated mega cheesy giant spider flick

Shaft's Big Score - Who's the black private Dick whose a sex machine with all the chicks

Shaft in Africa - SHAFT, you're damn right

New CD's

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - EP - pretty Good 5 song EP

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show your Bones - Their new album not as catchy as Fever to Tell but its growing on me

Institute - Distort Yourself - Ex-Bush front man Gavin "Mr Gwen Stefani" Rossdale new band sounds exactly like a Bush album which is a good thing

Hello There

2006-03-27T21:02:00.000+01:00

As my cousin Mr knee has decided he wants to be famous and do music reviews over at Mr Struthers site I thought I would show up to help with the movie reviews this week. Hopefully everything is good cause I get dizzy when i am upside down

The Door In the Floor

Combination coming of age/middle life crisis flick starring "The Dude" and Kim Basinger. Nice enough story but almost instantly forgettable. Thumbs in the Middle

The Dancer Upstairs

Really enjoyable thriller following a cop in South America tracking down the leader of revolution. Thumbs Up

Batman And Robin

More cod pieces and nipples, this is so much worse than I remember, every third line is an unfunny one liner. The only way it could be any worse is if the Batgirl suit had nipples on it. Thumbs Down

Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever

Random blowing shit up and I didn't even like it as most of the action scenes are poorly shot and there isn't even a thread of a story to tie it together. Thumbs Down

Monsters, Inc.

Nephew was around and finally got him to watch something other than Shrek. Its Pixar so of course it's awesome, along with a bugs life its the one that people forget but I think its really underrated and probably better than Finding Nemo. Two Thumbs Up

Walk The Line

If you remember my Ray review you will remember that I said I hated biopics, where here is the exception to the rule. Follows Cash's life up to the night June Carter finally agrees to marry him. The performance pieces are wonderfully shot as the direction of them gets crazier and crazier as Cash gets more and more hooked on pills. the bits in between are funny and touching without becoming preachy which usually pisses me off in biopics. Two Thumbs Up

The Ringer

Beyond bad, watching this may retard you enough that you could enter the special Olympics. Thumbs Down

New DVD's

The Shield Season 2 - Best Cop show on TV

40 Year Old virgin - I don't think it is the hilarious classic some make out but was funny enough to warrant the £5 price tag I got it for

The 39 Steps - fantastic early Hitchcock thriller which leaves me with only a handful of Hitchcock's to collect

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid - classic

New CD's

Green Day - Warning - filling in the last couple of gaps in my green day collection

Howdy

2006-03-20T17:15:00.000Z

After a relaxing long weekend I don't have much to say though I am intrigued by the Ong-Bak drinking game Mr. Struthers is discussing over in his area of madness. However the thought of using his "High Class Hooker" concoction to play the game does not sound as inviting.

Criminal

U.S. remake of an Argentinian film "Nine Queens", I like both of them about equally but that is only because John C. Reilly is in this one and he is a God among us mere mortals. However if you have seen enough con films in your life you will likely see the twists coming. Thumbs Up

Knight Rider 2000

Blasphemy of the highest order, no original theme tune, no original car. Only the Hoff acting all shirtless comes close to saving this. Thumbs Down

First Daughter

Really can't believe Forrest Whitaker made this, watched just to help me over my once crush on Katie Holmes which disappeared when she went mental last year when the scientologists brain washed her into thinking Tom Cruise was cuter than me. Thumbs Down

Eight Crazy Nights

Animated film starring Adam Sandler, ridicuously childish toilet humour which I'm a sucker for so I got a laugh out of it. Thumbs in the Middle

Friday The 13th Part 2

The adult Jason makes his first appearance in the franchise, this time with a bag over his head, the iconic hockey mask didn't make an appearance till the third part. Basic story is a bunch of teenagers have sex and then get killed. Thumbs Down

The Legend Of Zorro

I thought the first one was an enjoyable enough romp, but this was horrible, took an hour and 20 minutes to reveal the plot and they did the shitty thing most Hollywood sequels do by introducing a cute kid, except the cute kid is as annoying as fuck and I kept wishing someone would stab him in the eye. Thumbs Down

The Matador

The first real surprise of the year, black comedy in which Pierce Brosnan plays a fading hitman who is tired of his life. some fantastic dialogue my favourite being after Brosnan flirts with some Mexican schoolgirls "I hate Catholic countries. All blushy blushy and no sucky-fucky". Thumbs Up

The Backyard

Hilarious documentary about a bunch of hicks who think they will make it big in wrestling by starting out in there backyard hitting each other with chairs. My favourite bits where a guy whose gimmick was Big Mac with Spork, and the Retarded butcher who has a match stopped because his mum keeps moving the tables and other weapons out of the way, made funnier by the fact that she is the only person watching it. Thumbs Up

Four Brothers

John Singleton what went wrong, started off with Boyz n the Hood and went right downhill. There are flashes of greatness in here but the rest of the crap just drags it down to a mediocre mess. Thumbs in the Middle

Adventures of Robin Hood

Like most films from the 30's that are hailed as classics they have been imitated and ripped off so many times that when you see them you wonder what the fuss was all about. I enjoyed it well enough but would not hail it as some masterpiece. Thumbs in the Middle

Animationathon

2006-03-15T18:57:00.000Z

Watched a bunch of animated films over the last few days, 3 Miyazaki's and 3 stop motion animated films, including all the nominees for Best Animated feature at the Oscars, otherwise known as "Holy Shit we can't give some kids cartoon best film it will make us look like retards, lets create there own category award". Anyway I think they made the right decision going with W&G

Lots to cover so some of these will be short

Howl's Moving Castle

Not quite as great as Spirited Away but its still full of wonderful ideas and some crazy ones that make you question what the Japanese are smoking. Two Thumbs Up

Wallace and Gromit in the Curse of the Were-rabbit

Enjoyed it even more than the first time I saw it, its so full of sight gags that I spotted a whole bunch of jokes I missed the last time. Two Thumbs Up

Corpse Bride

Not quite up to the heights of TNBC, but good none the less, I really liked that the living were dark and gothic and the dead were colourful and lively. Thumbs Up

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Brilliant, Two thumbs Up

My Neighbor Totoro

Was slightly disapointed by this but that is usually the case with most films that get hyped up, all the bits with Totoro in them are brilliant but that makes up only about 30 minutes of the 90 minute running time, the rest is just a good family story. Thumbs Up

Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind

Miyazaki's second feature, but his first original piece of work, his first feature was a Lupin the third pic. Establishes a lot of the themes that reappear in his other films, though his don't fuck with the environment message is a bit overbearing in this one. Great action adventures scenes as usual. Thumbs Up

Non-animated stuff

BoogeyMan

Surprised by this in that it wasn't completely shit, but in the long run it is a story about a grown man who is scared of cupboards. Thumbs Down

Brokeback Mountain

Beautifully shot and well acted but I came away felling a bit is that it?, if the cowboys hadn't have been gay I do not think this would have got half the praise it did. Thumbs in the middle

Into the Blue

My brain hurts just thinking about how dumb this is, if seeing Jessica Alba's hard nips in a bikini for an hour and a half is your thing then you might enjoy this. Despite that I thought it was crap, Thumbs Down

Dark Star

How do you review a film where one of the characters is an alien that is little more than a beach ball with feet. Its the only John Carpenter I hadn't seen and was also on my 100 to see before I die list. Some crazy shit going on in this but not enough Carpenter synthesiser for my liking. Thumbs in the middle

New DVD's

A Very Long Engagement - Been waiting for this to be cheap for a while to round out my Jean Pierre Jeunet collection, so £6 bargain

The Wedding Crashers - a lesson in not buying DVD's when they come out any more at £5 a couple of months after release, bargain

Starship troopers 2 game

2006-03-08T19:49:00.000Z

Play along its fun for all the family, I really wish it was. Here's how to play, sit down and watch Starship Troopers 2 and see how long you can last without losing the will to live or without gouging your eyes out. Current Score board stands at

Me: 30 something minutes, time is slightly inaccurate due to temporary blindness brought on by film, I did fast forward through the rest in an attempt to get an idea of the story but found none

Mr Struthers: 10 odd minutes, always knew he was a lightweight, though technically if he replays the first 10 minutes over in his head three times then he has seen the exact same amount of the film as I have as the first 30 minutes is all close ups of people shooting clips from the first film. I say shooting but it was more of a flashing blue LED going of on and off at the end of their obviously plastic guns

Some may want to watch to see the blonde bint from Nip/Tuck get here baps out but she has one of those bad boob jobs were 99% of her boob is above her nipple and is more terrifying than the bugs in the film

Starship Troopers 2: Hero Of The Federation

See above, bad bad bad bad bad. Six Thumbs down, yes the films so bad I wish I had a mutation that made me have six thumbs

One Day In September

Last documentary in my mini-documentary season, this is a documentary about the Israeli hostage situation at the Munich Olympics in 1972 that is the back drop for Munich. Some of the incompetence in the rescue attempts are unbelievable. They let TV broadcast their preparation for storming the apartments oblivious to the fact that there were TV's in all the apartments so the terrorists were watching the whole thing, luckily the attack was called off. The whole thing was rapped up with the German Minister reporting that that all the hostages survived and that things could get back to normal and the situation can all be forgotten about in a couple of weeks, the hostages at this stage were already dead. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Corpse Bride - If its half as good as Nightmare before Christmas it will be brilliant

My Neighbor Totoro - Completes my Miyazaki collection, gets touted as being his best so really looking forward to watching

Hey everybody...

2006-03-06T18:57:00.000Z

were not racist, we love them negro's look we gave them the actor Oscars the other year and we would give it to the mexicans as well if we didn't need them to do our cleaning and cut our grass. Yep if you haven't heard the news the glorified movie of the week Crash won best film at the Oscars. This makes it two years in a row that a Paul Haggis scripted movie has won best film, he directed the turd this year, and as someone said they have never seen someone rise so medicorely (its a word) to the top in there life, the guy created Walker, Texas Ranger for fucks sake and while it kept us all safe by keeping Chuck Norris off the streets it could never be mistaken for the work of a genius in waiting. The guy's now in charge of writing the script for the new Bond, god help us all. The film has been getting praise for how subtle it portrayed how racism is bad and we shouldn't judge people by how they look. Subtle, I felt like Rodney King getting beat over the head with the racist stick by the LAPD, the only way it could have been less subtle is if all the characters wore Racisms Bad badges. This review just about sums it up

Ahhh that feels better, I have more but I'm scared of breaking my keyboard

Actually I have more, apparently this best film and best edited film is so great that a directors cut is out on DVD soon. to make things better its at least 12 minutes shorter than the theatrical version, yes even the director thinks at least 12 minutes of his own film is so shit he would prefer that people didn't see it.

The Corporation

Documentary about the scary power that corporations have today, interesting facts included that a San Francisco company owned all the water in Boliva including the rain water, they could charge you or threaten you with jail if you caught and drunk your own water, it took a revolt and several deaths to make the water companies public again. Fanta Orange is Nazi juice, Coca cola had to seen to pull out of Germany so created Fanta Orange so that they could stay in the market, and finally despite denying it IBM reportedly made a fortune by supplying and maintaining all the punch card machine that helped track all the concentration camp prisoners. Thumbs Up

Batman Returns

Brilliant, but I had forgotten how little Batman is in it, it more the Penguin and Catwomen show. Two Thumbs Up

Murderball

Documentary about murderball or quadriplegec Rugby, feel sorry for people in wheelchairs well watch these pricks and change your mind, as one of the guys friends says, he was an asshole before he got in the chair so don't feel that the accident made him different. Follows the rivalry between the USA and Canadian teams on the road to the 2004 Paralympics, also teaches you a modified doggy style if you lose power in four of your limbs. Thumbs Up

The Clearing

Waste of Talent, waste of time. says nothing does nothing. thumbs down

Batman Forever

Nipples and Cod pieces, all that has to be said, unfortunately it means Batman and Robin is next. Thumbs in the Middle

New DVD's

Howl's Moving Castle - Hopefully more Miyazaki magic

Storms a brewing

2006-03-04T12:49:00.000Z

Oscars are this weekend and if the rumours of the now favourite are true I may have to post my first rant on Monday, the old favourite is finally showing at the local flicks this weekend so I am going to hoke out my ass-less chaps and checkout Brokeback Mountain.

Munich

Probably the best thing Speilberg has done in years, really feels like a 70's film, which is a good thing. Just a really good observation of the futility of revenge, something good old George W. could learn about his pointless fight against terror. Two Thumbs Up

The I Inside

Ryan Phillippe wakes up in 2002 with no memory of the past two years does some stuff then wakes up in 2000 and back and forth and I don't know whats going on and the explanation is crap. Enjoyed it to a point but in trying to read up on other peoples thoughts on what was going on its really started to annoy me so i have down graded it to Thumbs in the middle

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D

From the director of Sin city and From Dusk Till Dawn, Robert Rodriguez like to flip flop back and forth between adult genre picks and kids movies. I love all the adult stuff and his Spy Kids films are the best live action children's films of the last 15 years. This was a rental and the rental disc only comes with the 2-d version which pissed me off, the film is really disappointing but has some good ideas and would probably be more fun in 3-d. Thumbs in the middle

Elizabethtown

Partially disappointed by this, I love all of Cameron Crowe's other films but only the last 45 minutes of this felt like a Cameron Crowe film and just saved the film for me. The first hour and ten minutes is a string of great moments held together with moments of crap. Thumbs Up

Stealth

Films Shit, Jessica Biel's hot. Thumbs Down

Heidi Fleiss: Hollywood Madam

Nick Broomfield documentary about the Heidi Fliess trial that threw Hollywood into a state of chaos for a while while people got scared that there dirty sex secret would get out. Doc focuses on her relationship with her boyfriend and is nowhere near as good as Bloomfields other doc's. Thumbs in the middle

New DVD's

The Thin Red Line - Probably the most beautiful war film ever made, if that makes any sense

New CD's

Arcade Fire - EP - seven song EP from the band I most want to see live at the moment

Old Age

2006-02-26T11:41:00.000Z

It's getting to me as my memory is starting to go, as I forgot to list some things I watched recently. After a 6 week absence I'll be going back to the cinema tonight, I usually go about once a week (I get in free so I will go see most things within reason) but everything recently hasn't interested me enough and the stuff I really want to see hasn't been on. So Munich is finally showing this week so I'm going to see that

Batman

Tim Burton version, some of this hasn't dated particularly well, the prince songs for one but I remember thinking they were shit at the time. Wonderfully dark for what at the time was supposed to be a big summer kids film. In fact its the last film I ever remember queuing for, when I got there the queue was around the block but someone we knew was third in line so we cut in which was lucky as we would have had to continue queuing for the next showing if we hadn't. Thumbs Up

Mr And Mrs Smith

Guilty pleasure from last year, the plot is completely nonsensical but nobody takes it seriously so it ends up being a lot of fun. Thumbs Up

War Of The Worlds

Spielberg version, the sound design and production design on this is fantastic. Watching this on an ordinary TV won't do it justice, the rumble of the machines coming out of the ground alone would convince people to get surround. The Tim Robbins section which some say drags the pace down in the third act flew past a lot quicker this time and there really isn't any other place for it to go. Thumbs Up

here is a pic of it on the big screen

Domino

Not for epileptics, Tony Scotts been using a new editing style for his last couple of films and its either a like it or hate it kind of thing. I think it works, it defianlty makes his films stand out from the pack. This is the supposed true story of Domino Harvey, Actor's daughter turned model turned bounty hunter. The bounty hunter part is the only true bit of this story, unless parts of Las vegas got blown up by gangsters while I wasn't paying attention. Really enjoyed this. Thumbs Up

Shrek

My one year old nephew loves this and as a result I have watched 5 to 10 minutes of this about 100 times over the last 6 months. However yesterday was the first time he was around since I got the screen set-up so we watched the whole thing. Surround sound confused him a bit, he didn't know why the dragon was roaring at him from behind. I had recently thought this might not age well over time but each time I watch it I catch we bits of hilarious dialog I'd never noticed before, mostly from Donkey who speaks ridiculously fast. Thumbs Up

Primer

Low budget time travel film in the same style and vain of Pi, I think I understand what happened, but I'll probably read something that will completely flip this on its head. I don't think I'd watch it again but its worth a watch. Thumbs Up

Alfie

Jude Law version this time, has much of the same problems as the Caine version but this has the added bonus of Sienna Miller getting her baps out. Thumbs in the Middle

New DVD's

Wallace And Gromit in The Curse of the Were Rabbit - more brilliance from Aardman animation

More Lessons learned

2006-02-20T20:46:00.000Z

1. A Horse can run faster than a biplane, its true I saw it with my own eyes there were no special effects or nothing, and if your male it is physically possible to jump from said plane and land on the horse without screwing up your nuts

2. Don't fuck with the Koreans they are vindictive bastards, its a slightly racist generalization but from the Korean films I have seen it appears to be true.

3. From TV, don't fuck with Jacks, they will fuck you up. Unless you have someone they care for kidnapped then they turn into pussies. But in the end they will probably sneak up to you when your sleeping and stick needles in your eye balls

In Good Company

Big global companies are evil, yeah I knew that, you didn't need to waste an hour and a half telling me. Waste of a bunch of good actors. Thumbs in the Middle

The Phantom

This is like a cheese sandwich on cheese bread, eat off a cheese plate with a cheese knife and fork and I love it, I'm just a sucker for cheap Indiana Jones rip off action adventures. Plus who doesn't love a man in purple spandex. Thumbs up

Sympathy for Lady vengeance

Final part of Chan Wook Park's trilogy of films about revenge and its just as brilliant as the others. Korea is making the type of adult films that Hollywood used to churn out with ease in the 70's 80's and early 90's but no longer does. Stylish, funny, violent and slightly disturbing. Two thumbs up

New DVD's
SPL - Donnie Yen and Sammo Hung, fuck yeah
A bittersweet life- good looking Korean gangster flick

New CD's
Beth Orton - Comfort of Strangers - taken a few listens but is really growing on me
The Datsuns - Outta Sight / Outta Mind - really good rock record and at £3 absolute bargain

Full Steam Ahead

2006-02-12T15:09:00.000Z

The room is now complete, pictures will follow when I finally tidy it up. I cheated a little and watched a film while I was waiting, but as it was crap I don't feel too bad in not waiting. All films will now be viewed with 5.1 sound in either the dolby digital or DTS format on a screen that's just a few inches over 7 foot diagonally. On with the reviews

Dead Man Walking

I am getting fed up with people relating good acting to good films, while the acting here is great the story bored me to the point where I can not even remember the details of it. Acting saved this, Thumbs in the middle

Batman Begins

Loved this at the pictures and loved it even more here, at the cinema I thought the pacing was slightly slow at the start, the films biggest criticism among those who don't like it, but it seemed perfect this time. Wonderfully dark and I like how it doesn't pander to the teen market like most comic book adaptations do in an attempt to make more money. Two Thumbs up

Unleashed aka Danny the Dog

Jet Li flick set in a Glasgow that does not have one Glaswegian accent. Action is disappointing but the story is slightly interesting, one that you enjoy while watching but wouldn't rush to watch again, Thumbs Up

The Island

Really enjoyed this and I don't know why, dialogue and story was poor, good actors were wasted and some of the action scenes were incoherent. Will probably pick up a copy when it goes cheap in the sales. Thumbs Up

Also watching - Series 1 of Arrested Development, finally thought it was time to make a dent in my TV on DVD backlog, this is the best comedy that almost nobody watches, just recently cancelled in the states cause the daft Americans don't get humour unless its spelt out. Boxsets are really cheap at the minute so I recommend picking them up.

New DVD's

24 Season 4 - a return to form after what I thought was a slightly disappointing season 3

Repo Man - Emilo Estevez, Harry dean Stanton and an alien in a car boot, great

Withdrawal Symptoms

2006-01-30T21:30:00.000Z

Right I haven't seen a film in about a week and a half now and I am starting to get the shakes and the end may not be in sight as the whole cinema room construction is going a lot slower than planned, mostly due to my shitty painting ability. The local cinema hasn't been getting any of the films that I want to see this month either so this isn't helping, bloody distribution company politics stopping them getting what I want pisses me off, but that's a rant for another time.

Answer to lasts weeks five pound question was "Revenge Of the Nerds", unfortunately nobody won, however I did find out that a remake is being made this year. Don't get me started on remakes, there is about 500 coming out this year and half are based on classic films, there remaking Suspiria for fucks sake. If your going to do a remake recycle a good idea you fucked up last time, like Howard The Duck or something.

Anyway to fill in for the lack of reviews I thought I would give you Neon Magazines (R.I.P.) 100 films you should see before you die. As they said themselves some are classics, some are poor and some are down right awful but you haven't lived till you have seen them all. So in reverse order

100. Citizen Kane
99. Up In Smoke
98. Blue Velvet
97. American Gigolo
96. The Trip
95. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
94. This Is Spinal Tap
93. Beyond The Valley of the Dolls
92. Natural Born Killers
91. Repulsion
90. The Producers
89. The Haunting (original)
88. Freaks (1932)
87. Bonnie & Clyde
86. The Odd Couple
85. The Killer
84. Deliverance
83. Les Yeux Sans Visage
82. The Thomas Crown Affair (original)
81. Sweet Smell of Success
80. Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story
79. Barbarella
78. The Last Boy Scout
77. Seconds
76. Pee Wee's Big Adventure
75. Shaft
74. The Parallax View
73. La Grand Bouffe
72. Kiss Me Deadly
71. The Great Escape
70. Get Carter
69. Brazil
68. Harold and Maude
67. Usual Suspects
66. Dawn of the Dead (original)
65. Slap Shot
64. McCabe and Mrs Miller
63. Kelly's Heroes
62. True Romance
61. Live and Let Die
60. Enter The Dragon
59. Evil Dead II
58. My Favourite Year
57. Cross of Iron
56. Dr Strangelove
55. Do The Right Thing
54. Hustle
53. The President's Analyst
52. Scarface
51. Saturday Night Fever
50. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
49. T2
48. School for Scoundrels
47. Chungking Express
46. Crumb
45. Towering Inferno
44. Manhunter
43. Das Boot
42. Halloween
41. Sleeper
40. Italian Job
39. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
38. Long Good Friday
37. La Cabina
36. Deep Throat
35. Menace II Society
34. The Jerk
33. Akira
32. The Right Stuff
31. Dirty Harry
30. A Clockwork Orange
29. Seven
28. Gimme Shelter
27. To Live and Die in LA
26. Man Bites Dog
25. Don't Look Now
24. Withnail and I
23. Blade Runner
22. A Bout De Souffle
21. Godfather II
20. Police Story
19. King of New York
18. Trainspotting
17. Schindler's List
16. Aliens
15. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
14. Long Goodbye
13. Blood Simple
12. Caddyshack
11. Star Wars
10. Videodrome
9. Dark Star
8. Apocalypse Now
7. Good, Bad, and the Ugly
6. Exorcist
5. Peeping Tom
4. Planet of the Apes
3. Naked
2, Goodfellas.
1. JAWS.

All the ones in bold are the ones I have seen, I have some of the ones I am missing on my rental list or on my sky plus box waiting to be watched, however any one who can help getting a hold of the complete version of Deep Throat (I've only seen the more famous scenes ;-) ) or the real hard one to get a hold of SuperStar: The Karen Carpenter story let me know. The latter is banned everywhere due to not licensing the music, which has always been denied as the carpenter estate has never seen the funny side of the film, such as all the parts being played by ken and barbie style dolls. Hopefully by next week I will have seen something new and if your lucky I may post a few pics of my room.

EDIT 05/04/06

Naked and Dark Star now seen

Lessons learned

2006-01-19T19:20:00.000Z

Here are some interesting life lessons I learned from watching movies this week

1. Drugs and wominising make you a bad person, but if you make good music and are famous we will forgive you and say ohh what a lovely man he was

2. Hi are you fat? You are, I bet deep down inside your a nice person, you must be all fat people are. Guess what, disappear for ten years and get thin and all those fit girls you went to school with will want to fuck you as will other model types you meet, also you won't get stretch marks or loose skin or anything

3. All girls in sorority houses are hot and hang out all naked in each others room

But what films taught me these lessons I hear you ask, well these ones

Ray

Lesson 1 was learned here and I also learned that I must stop watching these types of films as they usually bore me silly. Nothing new here then. Thumbs in the middle

Just Friends

Lesson 2 learned here. This was a real surprise as I wasn't expecting much. The story is stupid and all over the place but there are several laugh out loud moments in it and Anna Faris is hilarious in a role that is supposed to be a slight exaggeration of Britney spears. Thumbs Up

The Dukes of Hazzard

Lesson 3 learned here. Where do I begin, this was advertised as a comedy, well you didn't see me laughing. Tired and rehashed jokes with some random Jessica Simpson in skimpy clothes scenes thrown in. Worst of all, this continues Hollywoods growing trend of releasing unseen, too hot for the cinema titles. All the studios wonder why they don't make any money, its easy everything is watered down to PG-13(12a) shit that appeals to no-one, but hey the teen market will be able to go see it so we will make millions, then they piss people off by releasing the real version on DVD saying SEE THE VERSION THAT WAS TOO GRAPHIC FOR CINEMAS and all they do is through in two fucks and a couple of silly tarts flashing there tits. Back in the day I would go out of my way to sneak in to shit films cause I heard there was a flash of tit or some hair pie in it (fiver to anyone who gets the hair pie reference) maybe kids today will do the same. Thumbs down

Playing catch-up

2006-01-08T18:18:00.000Z

I may have to increase the frequencies of my posts as I get back to my normal watching speed after christmas, here goes with this weeks list.

The Assassination Of Richard Nixon

Based on the true story of a guy who fed up with his failed attempts to live the american dream decides to hijack a plane to kill Richard Nixon. Sean Penn is fantastic in it but apart from that I found it quite dull. Thumbs in the middle

The Maltese Falcon

I love all these 30's and 40's film noir's but am really bad at getting round to watching them, so this was my first time seeing this. They really don't make them like this anymore which is a pity, I like how they don't spoonfeed you the details so you are never quite sure who is the bad guy and who is not plus I thought Peter Lorre was hilarious as Joel Cairo, whether this was the intention or not I don't know but it increased my enjoyment. Thumbs up

Cube

I really liked this the first time a saw it at a Midnight screening at the cameo cinema in Edinburgh. It is not as good as I remember, probably not helped by the fact you can drink in the screens at the cinema so most of the midnight screenings involved us having a few before we went and drinking some more when we got there, this is not always advised as a friend struggled with the rigorous training at the start of Full Metal Jacket and puked his guts up as another friend slept beside him oblivious of the stench. Back on track, the super low budget shows through a bit more on rewatch but the various deaths still are pretty cool unlike most of the acting but I would still recommend it, as well as the directors superior follow-up Cypher. Thumbs Up

Melinda And Melinda

Two theatre directors one of comedies and one of drama's discuss which is best which leads to the two different tellings of Melinda’s story, one as a comedy one as a drama. I enjoyed the comedy half but didn't like the drama side so found the overall film a bit dull, Will Ferrel is good in it though. Thumbs in the middle

The Descent

British spelunking horror, heard good things about this so was worried it would be crap as most british films that get buzz are usually just average but look fantastic against most of the crap produced. However this was excellent but I don't think I will watch it again, it just makes you feel too uncomfortable when you watch it, be it the claustrophobia of the caves or the bones sticking out of legs gore I just had a sick feeling the whole way through. This however is a good thing, there just aren't enough movies these days that produce a physical reaction as they have been toned down to appeal to the mass markets resulting in them losing any uniqueness that may have made them good. Thumbs Up

Alfie

Michael Caine version, I just couldn't get into it to enjoy it, I wasn't sure whether we were supposed to like Alfie or not and frankly the story was a bit dull. Alfie sleeps with a women then they want commitment so he gets scared and moves on to the next then repeat again. Thumbs in the Middle

New DVD's

Last batch for a while as all the money this month is going into the home cinema I am building in the new house

White Stripes Under Blackpool Lights - Saw them twice last year and they are one of the best live acts in the world today and the couple of minutes of this I have watched seems to capture it well.

Myth - Jackie Chans latest Hong Kong film getting mixed reviews, however it was cheap and I needed something the make up my order to get free shipping, did get a free mouse mat with it though

Sympathy For Lady Vengeance - The final part of Chan Wook Park's revenge trilogy, which contains Sympathy for Mr Vengeance and OldBoy, both are fantastic and some of the best films of the last few years and reports of this have been good so I am really looking forward to this.

Ones to watch in 06

2006-01-07T16:32:00.000Z

Here is a quick list of the films that have release dates so far for 06 that I am most looking forward to

January
Brokeback Mountain - Ang Lee's new Film
Match Point - new Woody Allen
Jarhead - Sam Mendes's new film about the Gulf war
Underworld: Evolution - I am a sucker for vampire flicks
Shopgirl - Steve Martins latest
Munich - Spielberg latest been getting rave reviews
The New World - new Terence Malik

February
Walk the Line - Johnny Cash biopic
Aeon Flux - supposedly crappy but I like the cartoons
Goodnight and Good Luck - George Clooneys second directors effort
Sympathy for Lady vengeance - Chan Wook Parks latest, just got my Korean 2-disc of this the other day and will watch as soon as I have my projector set back up

March
Syriana - Getting great reviews from the states, in my backwards logic I am avoiding finding out what its about as I prefer to see things blind rather than build an opinion before hand
V for Vendetta - I struggled to enjoy the graphic novel but word so far on the film has been great
Tenacious D movie - if its half as funny as their DVD it will be the best comedy of the year

April
Hostel - Eli Roths follow up to Cabin Fever which I thought was shit, however people who share this opinion say this is the exact opposite, the poster artwork I have seen is fantastic, severed heads and all

May
Mission Impossible III - directed this time by Alias and Lost creator JJ Abrahms, the teaser trailer looks excellent
The Da Vinci Code - enjoyed the book and the teaser trailer appears to have captured the mood well not sure about hanks though
The Ringer - Johnny Knoxville pretends to be disabled to rig the special Olympics
X-men 3 - could go either way, production has been full of problems and the release has been very rushed

June
Nothing

July
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - Johnny Deep pretending to be Keith Richards, great
Superman Returns - current teaser is a bit under whelming, but Bryan Singer usually never fails to deliver
Cars - Pixars latest

August
Miami Vice - Should be cheesy brilliance
Nacho Libre - Jack Black plays a Mexican Luchadore(wrestler) should be hilarious
Sin City 2 - Three more stories from Frank Millers mind
Lady in the Water - M Night Shyamalan new film

September
Ghost Rider - comic book adaptation starring Nic Cage
High, Wide and Handsome - Nascar car comedy starring Will Ferrel and Sacha Baron cohen, may be renamed to Talladega Nights

October
Jackass 2 - didn't even know they were making this

November
Casino Royale - new bond

December
Deja Vu - new Tony Scot starring Denzel, this combo hasn't made a bad film yet

WTF's
apparently their has been such a demand that we will get the following this year
Big Mommas House 2
Final Destination 3
Basic Instinct 2 - I thought we saw everything last time, surely it can only be older and wrinklier
Scary Movie 4
Garfield 2
Santa Clause 3

List seems a bit short so I am sure I am missing stuff and there will hopefully be a few surprises over the year, I just wish there where more newer ideas appearing and fewer sequels

Best Films of 2005 (Part 1)

2006-01-01T16:13:00.000Z

Here are my fifteen favorite films from this year that I have seen so far, there are another potential 30 or so that may make the final list when I get round to seeing them. So in no order only alphabetical

1. A Very Long Engagement
2. Batman Begins
3. Brotherhood
4. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
5. History of Violence
6. King Kong
7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
8. Ong Bak
9. Sideways
10. Sin City
11. Star Wars Episode 3
12. Team America: World Police
13. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
14. Wallace And Gromit in the curse of the Were Rabbit
15. Wedding Crashers

My only disappointment with the list is that there are not many surprise entries for me. 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10 , 11, 12, 13, 14 are all from directors who's work I love so I expect good work from them. Asia always kicks up a few films I love hence 3 and 8. 15 was a bit of a surprise but the actors involved have been putting out funny comedy's for about 5 years now. The only surprise was Kiss Kiss Bang Bang which Warners buried for some reason, so probably passed most of you bye but I expect it to be a huge hit on DVD, I recommend you see it as soon as possible.

Still Alive..

2006-01-01T15:17:00.000Z

I took a risk and waited a week before making it 667 for the decade, the lack of any good films on TV over Christmas didn't help. The lack of good films on TV at all is becoming a huge problem as we are creating a generation of film fans that will think that the American Pie Trilogy is the height of film brilliance. When I was a kid growing up my film education came from three places, BBC1's Friday night Hammer Horror double bills, channel 4's Kung Fu and Godzilla seasons and the granddaddy of all TV movie shows BBC2's Moviedrome. If it wasn't for these I wouldn't know about Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Bruce Lee, the 'good' Jackie Chan, Cronenberg, Romero and many more. There is nothing like this on terrestrial TV anymore and the world is worse off because of it.

Enough ranting onto the reviews

Mean Creek

Film number 667, the story has been done a million times but I still enjoyed it. Avoid the trailer as it gives the story of the first 75 minutes of the film away and as the film is only 85 minutes long, so it doesn't leave any surprises. Worth a rent. Thumbs up

End of the Century - The Story of the Ramones

I like the ramones but knew very little about their history so this was a very interesting documentary, with interesting titbits about members alledgedly turning tricks to feed there heroin habit and the fact that despite being a huge influence on hundreds of bands and being successful elsewhere in the world they never really broke America which is a shame. Thumbs Up

New DVD's

Hard Target - Holy Shit a semi decent Van Damme flick, very chessy but John Woo's action is good and the disc was cheap

Before Sunset - Sequel to Before Sunrise, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke talk bullshit for another 90 minutes, brilliant

John Hughes boxset- Contains Weird Science, Sixteen candles and the breakfast club, 80's brilliance plus you get to see Emilio Estevez pretending to be stoned

TimeCode - Shot in real time the screen is split into four separate sections telling different stories that slowly intertwine the sound being brought up and down on the segment we should watch, sounds messed up but works really well

New CD's

Metallica - S&M - Metallica and the San Francisco philharmonic orchestra perform Metallica hits, beautiful genius

Jose Gonzalez - Veneer - Really beautiful acoustic folk album, contains the song from the Sony bravio ad which is my favorite ad at the minute, check it out

The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Tepid Peppermint Wonderland - only had a chance to listen through once, some really strange stuff and some really good stuff on it, I think I'll grow to love it

Arcade Fire - Funeral - Whoever kept these guys quiet needs to step forward now so I can slap you, just a fantastic album that I would have got into sooner if the only people raving about it had not have been the ones that raved about bands that turned out to be shit

Number of the Beast

2005-12-21T18:37:00.000Z

I am very scared and must immedialty find a film to watch that was made since 2000. As part of my attempt to compile my best films of 2005 list Part 1 (Part 1 as it usually takes me to July to see everything I really wanted to see) I realized I had only seen 67 films that have been released theatrically in the UK this year. Being the non-geek that I am I decided to see how many films I had seen since the start of the decade, from 2000 on. The totals went as follows
2000 - 106
2001 - 94
2002 - 117
2003 - 146 - even scarier there is at least another 10 I still wouldn't mind seeing
2004 - 136
2005 - 67
One quick calculation later shows that my viewing of King Kong last night puts me at 666 films for the decade. I have made it safely through today but I don't fancy risking it any longer, I may have be forced to watch the Cat in the Hat tonight on Sky just to be safe.

Anyway onto the reviews while I am still alive to write them.

King Kong

Wow, my biggest concern here was the casting of Jack Black as i am so used to laughing at him but I thought he was excellent. Its not perfect, some of the CGI is a bit ropey, mostly the green screen work and not Kong who is one of the most believable CGI characters I have seen, also some of the story threads go nowhere but overall I would have gladly queued up straight away to see it again. Which earns King Kong the first appearance of... Two Thumbs Up

Million Dollar Baby

This won best film at last years Oscars and I can safely say the world would be a better place if everybody who voted for it was taken out and shot. This is the most cliched sentimental piece of crap I have seen in my whole life. Thumbs Down

U Turn

Decided to give this another go after being a bit blah about it before and came away feeling the same again, it just feels too full of interesting ideas poorly executed. Thumbs in the middle

Dig!

Documentary following the dandy warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre over the course of seven years as the more talented brian jonestown spiral into jealousy and drugs as there friends the dandy's fluke success by getting one of there songs into a mobile phone commercial. Film is part touching and hilarious, at a gig the fans of brian jonestown attack the camera crew making the documentary and then attack the band. Suckered me into buying a Brian Jonestown Massacre album to see what they are like. Thumbs up

New DVD's

King Kong production diaries - Gathers together all of Peter Jackson's internet based video diaries on the making of the film. This is the region one set that comes with prints of production designs and comes in fancy packaging.

Sin City recut, extended, unrated - this is the two disc special edition containing the theatrical version on one disc and each of the individual stories in slightly extended versions on another plus a bunch of extras. Also includes a copy of the first Sin City graphic novel which would have been cooler if I didn't already own a copy

that's it for now, will be back next week with the best films of 2005 part 1 and hopefully a review of Narnia if I live that long.

Midgets and Monkeys

2005-12-15T18:12:00.000Z

One week in and already I am running behind schedule, however I do have a reason as I have been away in the land of the ginger haired skirt wearer's, that's Scotland to you and me, to see the Foo Fighters aka "The Shouty Band" as dubbed by a GUY that has been to see Atomic Kitten live so take that description for what its worth. More quality fare this week so on with the show

DOOM

I have smelled what the Rock is cooking and its another shit film, the film supposedly cost $70 million to make, I am assuming at least $50 million of this was spent on crack for whoever thought the script was good as the money is not on screen unless tunnels are expensive in this day and age. I did however learn via men's favourite form of temperature gauge that it is freezing cold on Mars most of the time. Thumbs Down

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

Only good point to this was totally random dance sequence, I love totally random dance sequences and feel that all films should include them. From the great A Bande Apart to Adam Sandler dancing while buying pudding in Punch Drunk Love they are all genius and always improve a film and make a good film great in the same way midgets and monkeys do. Thumbs down

Bad Santa

Speaking of midgets, the first film to get a good review has one as a main character. Film follows the usual feel good Christmas film style story but adds a drunk Billy Bob Thorton and lots of swearing. As a bonus the Gilmore Girls Lauren Graham is always a pleasure to watch. Thumbs Up

Seed of Chucky

I have now seen all five chucky movies which by Guardian newspaper accounts should make me a child killing pedophile, so anyone who needs a babysitter drop me a line. Since this series went the comedy gore route with Bride of chucky I have been really enjoying them and this one is a lot of fun with Jennifer Tilly playing herself playing Tiffany, chuckys wife. Throw in the genius that is John Waters and have a recipe for depraved fun, plus technically the dolls are midgets so my theory is sticking. Thumbs Up

New DVD's
Batman Begins (Deluxe edition) - Batman franchise gets back on track, this is the HMV exclusive version that comes with a 72-page comic featuring stories that were the basis for the film

Matilda - Danny Devito's version of Roald Dahls book, haven't seen it in a while but remember it being fun and at only £5 couldn't be passed up

Brotherhood Aka Taegukgi -absolutely fantastic Korean war movie, South Korea has been producing some of the best films in the world in the last few years but people wont go see them cause the don't like sub-titles, idiots

Star Wars Clone Wars Volume 2 - More greatness from Genndy Tartakovsky, everything all the prequels should have been and more, if you like these check out Genndy's original work of genius Samurai Jack, it is also equally brilliant

Nightmare Before Christmas - the perfect Christmas movie and the perfect Halloween movie all in one, just get a copy already

Mr And Mrs Smith - Doug Liman keeps his record of good films at 100% with my favourite guilty pleasure of the year.

Maybe back at the weekend but if not I'll be back next week with King Kong and maybe Naria

2005-12-03T17:24:00.000Z

Hello and welcome to "Das Movie Blog", you see what I did there I used the German word for "the" instead of the English version, it makes me sound sophisticated and gives you the impression that you will discover information about sophisticated foreign fare. As can be seen from the first movies commented on you are slightly wrong, I do like the sophisticated foreign fare but have a disturbing preference for the shite.

Anyway on to the meat and veg, the plan for this blog is to let people know the movies I watched each week and my eloquent thoughts on their worthiness. I will use the thumbs method of review. Thumbs down for crap, thumbs in the middle for blah, thumbs up for good and the rare and godly two thumbs up for classics.

New arrivals on the DVD and CD front will also be provided, the really sad people out there can spend there time noticing the large amount of time between me actually receiving a new DVD and then actually watching it. Enough already on with the show.

Slow week this week due to work and a TV backload so only two movies and what fantastic fare they where

XXX2- The next level

I have a soft spot for the original as I have a weakness for films that blow shit up for no good reason. However the sequel in the UK claims to be "the next level", if this is the next level then the first level must have been a cess pit as this is shit, that's all you get as I don't want to waste any more time on this film. Who would have thought Ice Cube could have been in something so bad? Thumbs down

Flight Plan

Film is a loose remake of Hitchcock's "The lady vanishes" which is one of the few Hitchcock's I have not seen. This one stars Jodie Foster whose character has a mans name as the original casting choice was Sean Penn and the writers were too lazy to come up with something else when they shifted gender. Any more information will spoil the film as the plot is paper thin, I can only say I was entertained enough for 90 minutes but have no desire to watch it again. Thumbs in the middle

New DVD's
Lots this week so brief descriptions
Batman Movie anthology 1989 - 1997 - Interested to see if I can watch Batman and Robin without stabbing my eyes out
Blow - Good real life drugs movie with Johnny Deep
Elf - Will Ferrell is God
Assault On Precinct 13 - The remake, falls into the blows shit up for no good reason category
The Faculty - I have mixed feeling about this but it was cheap and i am rounding out my Robert Rodriguez collection
King Kong - the original, comes in a tin, i am a sucker for fancy packaging at inflated prices
The Deer Hunter - Deniro, Walken, Russian Roulette, all that needs to be said
Peeping Tom - Just watch it, a little seen classic
The Phantom - really cheesy comic book movie starring Billy Zane, I have a soft spot for really cheesy comic book adaptations
Aeon Flux Boxset - contains all the shorts and the series plus more, looks like a really good set

New CD's
System Of a Down - Hypnotise - Just a step below mezmerize, but still better than most new metal released this year

that's it for now, I'll try to be back once a week with updates and may go on the odd rant in between.

Edit: now with added spell check, things will be the death of me